Writing task 2: ADVERTISEMENT MAKES PEOPLE TO BUY UNNECESSARY THINGS.

could someone help me to give an assessment on the score I might get on this essay. I don't know what band I am at right now)

topic
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that companies have been increasingly approaching a more considerable amount of customers than in the past, thanks to the advertisement. To some extent, I agree that advertising has a massive impact on sales, but I would also argue that we do need most of the products that we buy.

On the one hand, the influence of advertisements on customers is so powerful that they might sometimes buy unnecessary goods and services. It is clear that advertisers use special effects and artistic images that draw people's attention; these people are convinced that the products are either of perfectly good quality and deserve their payment or very essential for their life. A mobile phone could be a good example of these buying habits. Every year people could be seen queuing for miles in front of Apple stores to buy the latest models, even when their current phones remain in good use and do not need replacing. This situation could, therefore, prove the fact that advertising has done its effects on customers.

On the other hand, I believe that most people have made buying decisions to meet their demands, not only because of advertisements. There are always certain needs for people to improve their quality of life. These individuals, in order to satisfy their wishes, tend to actively come to see the adverts that can lead them to an insight into the products. Advertisement does not, as a consequence, manipulate customers; by contrast, it does help them to make the ultimate choices. In the past, it could be hard for people to buy goods and services due to the lack of information stemming from advertisements.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that advertising industry has substantially affected users' behaviors, but I believe people would make wise choices on their demands.

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You have changed the discussion format of the essay. How did you do that?

Original topic: high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

Your Topic: companies have been increasingly approaching a more considerable amount of customers than in the past, thanks to the advertisement.

Original Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Discussion Response: To some extent, I agree that advertising has a massive impact on sales, but I would also argue that we do need most of the products that we buy.

As you can see, your discussion topic and response to the question are inaccurate when compared to the original. Therefore, this essay will be considered to be non-responsive to the task provided.

Hi, I think it would be better for your essay to have 2 sentences in the conclusion part. The first sentence is the summary, and the second one is your prediction or recommendation.