Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

Advertising nowadays has more and more affects in our lives.


nhoc_tini 2 / 3  
Aug 6, 2010   #1
I also want to improve my writing skill to apply for IELTS test, please help me to correct my mistake, thanks a lot.

Advertising nowadays more and more affects in our lives, we can see advertise everywhere such as : televisions, newspapers, radio, buses, and many places in our city. They support much kind of products to achieve their high sales and help them easy to touch the customers.

But in another cases sometime they overstate the truth and make the customers confuse, so once or twice we will buy a product but they don't have enough qualifies like advertising talk about them, that is the bad things because it make us lost the trust with products of that company. For example I bought a washing machine because I saw they advertise that 100% washing clean, but actually when I bought it , it worked so bad, I waste a lot of time to complaint with that company and require them to change another one.

I agree that we should use advertise like the best way to present our products to customers , it make many kinds of business can develop by the way affect to mutual, beside that customer will have more information about products to help them easy to compare and chose a the good once. But I think the Market Management Offices should find the good methods to control the information in advertising, these jobs will compel the company more respect to customers and help in our country have a good market environment to attract more investors.

I think in our modern life, we have many ways to improve our sales but I think the company should choose the ways that for a long life of product, we should tell the truth and do the right things. That will make the company have strength in their business and pride of themselves about what did they do.

Lily Rose 5 / 16  
Aug 7, 2010   #2
In my opinion, you're obviously an intermediate level. I think you need to read more; when writing an essay, give stronger examples to support your argument.

Also, if your essay is an IELTS essay, please post the question too.

Just my piece of advice. :)
OP nhoc_tini 2 / 3  
Aug 8, 2010   #3
Thanks Lily Rose, i will try to read much to improve my writing skills, thanks for your advice
OP nhoc_tini 2 / 3  
Aug 8, 2010   #4
Dear Adriennelin and Patricia 5827

Yes, in that sentence I mean many kinds of products.

Thank you Adriennelin and Patricia 5827 has corrected my mistake, can both of you correct whole my essay, actually I dont have much experience in writing so I really need your help.

I hope I can receive as much as your advice , thanks again.
honghee 3 / 7  
Aug 9, 2010   #5
...help them easy to touch the customers.In this sentence,it's better to using attract instead of touch .It's just my advice.^-^

because it make us lostlose the trust with products of that company

because I saw they advertised that 100% washing clean ..It's a little strange.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Aug 9, 2010   #6
Advertising nowadays more and more affects in our lives. We can see advertise everywhere, such as: televisions, newspapers, radio, buses, and many places in our city.

They support much many kinds of products to achieve their high sales and help them easy to touch influence the customers.

But in other cases sometimes they overstate the truth and make the customers confused, so once or twice we will buy a product but they don't have the qualifies that the advertisements talked about. That is the bad things because it makes us lose the trust for the products of that company.

That will make the company have strength in their business and pride in themselves about what they do.

You have some excellent sentences! Look many times at my revisions and practice typing the correct way! You make only minor mistakes while your meaning remains clear!


Home / Writing Feedback / Advertising nowadays has more and more affects in our lives.