Commericials Aimed at Children
Hello All,
This is my first time here. It is nice to know you. Here is my essay. I hope I can receive your comments. Thank you very much.
Topic: In some countries, advertisers increase the amount of advertising which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on children. But some advertisers claim that there is useful information in these advertisements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
When it comes to advertising, whether companies can advertise directly to children and convince them to buy snacks, toys and other goods or not has become a controversial issue. Parents believe these advertisements should be banned, whereas advertisers claim these advertisements are useful and beneficial for children. In my opinion, advertising to children can be allowed, but the government should have a clear set of regulations for these kinds of advertisements.
It is understandable why parents object to such advertisements because they believe their children are vulnerable and would absorb all of the information advertised without judgement. Children's mind, especially under 6 years old, is not fully developed and tend to believe what other people or advertisers say without critical thinking. Hence, it would be dangerous if advertisers persuade children to consume snacks instead of other healthy and nutritious food such as rice, meat or milk just because snacks are tastier and look more attractive. In fact, the government understands this problem and has exercised to ban all the advertisements aiming directly to children under 6 years old and monitor closely those advertisements aiming to children from 7 to 12 years old.
On the other side, advertisers argue that they understand children's needs and wants, sometimes even better than their parents. In 2019, Lego Corporation, a multinational company in the toy industry spent $3 billion on researching children's behavior and developing suitable and useful educational toys for children in various age. They believe these educational toys can be used to enhance children's intelligence and ability to solve problems. Hence, to them, it is justified to advertise these kinds of products directly to children regardless of age. However, as already analyzed previously, children's mind is like a blank page and would believe the advertisers without thinking the pros and cons of a product. Therefore, advertisers should advertise these products to parents instead of children who will help children examine a product's benefits as well as possible harm before purchasing.
In conclusion, I am totally convinced that advertisements of those products for children such as food, toys or clothes should be allowed but need to go through the strict censorship because children are vulnerable and not yet fully developed.@buiminhese
Hi there!
Welcome to the forum. Don't fret. We'll do our bests to help you here.
First and foremost, I recommend that you try trimming down the length of your sentences. While complexity is great, having more dynamism in your writing will help you curate a persona as you are going along. If you can maintain this, you'll have more of an organic structure to work with. Overall, this is beneficial because it paves way for you to communicate in a more creative manner.
If you can, use less baffling structures in your content. Doing this would enable you to have more hold over the meaning that you are conveying as you are writing.
Additionally, be cautious of your usage of punctuation and preposition. These are both common mistakes for learners. It can be helpful for you to look back on reference books. Using more non-conventional transitions will also help you in the long-run (ie. using semi-colons to move between correlated sentences) as it helps you develop more innovative techniques.
Avoid redundant and repetitive words. If you do this, you can focus more on content that'll add more depth - rather than simply uttering everything over and over again.
