TOPIC: Advertising encourages people to buy in quantity rather than promoting its quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, increasing advertisements surrounding our lives because of material prosperity. Many people suggest that promotion of advertising prefer what in quantity to what in quality. In my opinion, there are two different styles of advertisements, which aim to different merchandise and customers.
First of all, promotion in quantity is always linking to low prize, such as "buy one get one free", or a relatively lower prize for three items. It seems reasonable because it is an effective way for sellers who want small profits and quick returns. This kind of advertising is for popular products frequently rather than competitive products. Thus, the main purpose of promotion in quantity is to attract various consumers in large numbers. Moreover, advertisements in quantity and low prize are not only beneficial to some merchants, but also cost-efficient choices for certain consumers. For instance, what makes advertising more attractive to housewives is buying daily use in large quantity and much lower prize.
By contrast, there are also many kinds of advertisements for quality of merchants like some technological products and competitive products. As promotion in quantity links to lower prize, advertising in quality may be with high cost, which is suitable for certain sellers and buyers. Some competitive products need not lower their prize to cater everyone but a few people, with promoting in high quality. As a result, merchants and their advertisements would cultivate these customers who are interested in the unique quality of products, even though the prize is not cheap any more. For customers, if people were likely to buy something special, they might concentrate on the information about the quality of the products rather than the prize.
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, it is probably true that adverting encourages people to buy in quantity more frequently than promoting its quality. As the promotion in quantity is for popular daily use, it should be repeated many times. However, the advertisements in quality could decrease the explosion as long as it cultivates the fixed consumers. Therefore, I believe that, no matter what kinds of advertising, if it was not the false advertising, it could exist reasonably.
Keely, I would like to give some contributions toward your essay, especially for the first and the second paragraph. I hope you can follow through the feedback given.
1st paragraph:
- Nowadays(informal)These days , increasing advertisements are increasingly surrounding our lives because of material prosperity.(really? think again about this idea)
- ManySome people suggest that promotion of advertising(redundant, do not use it in the same time and the same place. Choose one of them) prefer what in quantity to what in quality. (be careful of over-generalizing. This can lower your mark. I don't think many people suggest that, perhaps only some of them)
- ...which aimedtofor different merchandise and customers.
2nd paragraph:
- ...promotion in quantity is always linkinglinks to low prize...
- whata main reason that makes advertising more attractive to housewives is...
There you have it Keely, now you can focus on proofreading the third and the last paragraph. My suggestion is that, do not forget to give a concluding sentence for each body paragraph since it is one of the essential criteria to reach a high band score in IELTS writing. However, do let me know if you need further assistance. Good luck for the next practice :)
Hi Mochtar,
Thank you very much for your help. I will revise what you correct.
Yes, I am still learning IELTS writing now and need more assistance.
Could you help me further?
Keely, I believe that helping you further means that you need to post a new essay practice thread. If you post a new essay practice thread, I can give further comments to see your improvement so far. Even better, I can assess your essay based on IELTS writing task 1 or task 2 band descriptors. I just hope that my score prediction is as accurate as the real one.
However, you can also give peer-review to other IELTS essays task 1 or task 2 in this forum in order to improve your writing skill, especially in IELTS writing. Giving peer-review would help you to think one step ahead and read the essay from different perspective. I also recommend to use practice material from Cambridge IELTS e-books. There are many of them, you can choose from Cambridge IELTS 1 to Cambridge IELTS 11. Those books also have some sample writing answers as a score prediction guidance. What kind of Essay that get band 5, band 6, or more than that. You can see all of them in Cambridge IELTS e-books.
So, I am waiting for the upcoming essay practice of yours. I hope that I can give my best advice towards your writing development. Do let me know if you need additional feedback or guidance in IELTS writing. Good luck for the next practice. :)
In my opinion , there are two different styles of advertisements, which aim to different merchandise and customers [You should add the thesis statement"This essay agrees that..." to show you main view point .
Hi Mochtar,
I have posted new writings.
I am so glad to receive your corrections because they are very helpful.
Thank you very much!
Keely
