Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

[TOEFL] A/D The advertising is the main cause of unhealthy eating habits


alice0209 12 / 18 12  
Sep 4, 2013   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The advertising is the main cause of unhealthy eating habits.


Advertising is becoming part of our modern society. They penetrate into people's life, affecting people's choices in different things. Therefore, it comes to the debate whether advertising has positive influences on people's life. Some people say that advertising must be blamed for the unhealthy eating habits, while others believe that there are still some other factors directing people's judgments. In my opinion, the advertising is not the main cause of unhealthy eating habits.

First of all, advertising is not entirely decisive on personal eating habit. The key to forming a healthy eating pattern lies in people's concept of wholesome diets and self-control. It is sure that advertising always makes the products so tempting, regardless of whether they might bring negative effects on the human body. However, advertising is not the only information source for people. People can still acquire different viewpoints about foods from other sources, like news or magazines. As long as people are clear about how to maintain a healthy body and they persistently keep track of their eating habits, they can successfully prevent themselves from those temptations. It will be not persuasive if people just blame the advertising sector of a fast-food company for making them so fat and not reassess their own behaviors.

Second, in the era when people are becoming conscious of a healthier lifestyle, some companies are actually aiming at this rising trend and start to promote healthy foods. In other words, advertising may even bring healthier eating habits to the people. Think about the recently popular organic foods that are claimed to grow in an environment without pesticide and those crude foods in which less salt or less sugar are added. These are the main traits that advertising is hitting on and the overall results are good. In these cases, the advertising industry bolsters people's awareness of having a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, advertising is not the primary reason of unhealthy eating habits. There are the build-up of the concept about healthy eating habits and self-control that really matter. Besides, advertising might lead to healthier eating customs due to the growing awareness of living under a better lifestyle. It is inevitable to be exposed to the environment full of advertisements but it does not mean that our right to choose is taken away. We will always be able to decide our own lifestyles.

p.s: I really care about the content of my essay. Please tell me if I made the clear point to the topic and whether my arguments and explanation are strong, thanks!!:)

huyentrang 2 / 9 2  
Sep 5, 2013   #2
the word they in the second sentence should be change into it.
the content of your writing is very good
Try your best!!!!
septem1821 3 / 24 7  
Sep 5, 2013   #3
1)Advertising is becoming part of our modern society. They penetrate into people's life, -----here, 'they' refers to modern society.

2)to the debate whether advertising has positive influences on people's life. Some people say that advertising must be blamed for the unhealthy eating habits, while others believe that there are still some other factors directing people's judgments.-----in the task, they asked whether do you agree with the given statement or not. so you should give only your opinion not others' beliefs in the introduction.

3)advertising--news and magazines are same.-----these are the communication channels to give the information in the form of advertisement to people.

4)according to you ideas i will put it like this
first para--depends on their choices and self control--no role of advertisments in people if they are motivated
second para--giving an awareness about the healthy lifestyle--benefits of advertisements.
third para--giving an opportunity to expose to a wide range of foods--i included it.

Sorry, if it doesn't help you.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 13, 2013   #4
Advertising is becoming part of our modern society.

This is not a very powerful hook. Tell something more catchy and have direct relevance to your prompt;
Advertising has a profound influence on modern life-styles. ... by mentioning the word "life-style", you can quickly relate the case to eating habits.
In my opinion, the advertising is not the main cause offo r unhealthy eating habits.

First of all, advertising is not entirely decisive on personal eating habit

First of all, advertising is not the only thing that influences one's eating habits.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Sep 20, 2013   #5
Second, in the era when people are becoming conscious of a healthier lifestyle, some companies are actually aiming at this rising trend and start to promote healthy foods.

....good point
Secondly, in this modern era, there is a growing trend that people are becoming concern about healthy organic food. So the advertisers have begun to attract this segment of people by promoting healthy foods through their advertisements.

These are the main traits that advertising is hitting on and the overall results are good.

These are the pluses of advertising because it is the best form to educate people on things that have positive impact on society.
Allen Hu 8 / 26 4  
Sep 22, 2013   #6
Your essay is awesome~there are almost on grammer errors in it. At least I can not find any of them

But perhaps it is better to add another point to support your argument. three reasons are more sound than two~ or you can just write a concession paragraph.

Learn a lot from your essay~


Home / Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] A/D The advertising is the main cause of unhealthy eating habits