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Does advertising make people be the same?


sophie789 7 / 11  
Jun 11, 2012   #1
Please help me correct it. Thanks to all of you!
Some people argue that advertising is discouraging people from being different individuals and makes people to be or seem to be the same . Do you agree or disagree?

Perhaps no subject in the world is as likely to give rise to so much controversy as advertising does. One of the main critisms against advertisement is that it eliminates individual sense of identity, making people become indistinguishable from each other. Below are arguments against this allegation.

First of all, advertising has been supposed to be very sucessful in creating peer pressure. By tempting messages and persuasive arguments, advertisers can draw public attention, cajoling consumers, especially adult adolesents, into buying their newly-marketed products merely on the ground that his or her peers are possessing it. What is purchased might be not their actual demands. However, it is natural that each individual definitely has identity distinguish from others. Though temporarily buyers favour the same goods as it is the the latest fad, sooner or later they will discern that it is a huge waste of time and money to spend on something that is not really appropriate for them. It is, thus, arguable to contend that under no circumstances would advertisers be incapable of setting a prevailing trend in the society.

Another main strategy embraced by advertisers is to associate their products with well-known celebrities who could be cited as the quintessence of always being the owners of up-to-the-minute and high-end products in the world. In the hope of being alike their idols, people from all walks of life are inclined to purchase the same goods that famous stars use and thereby become similar to each other. Nonetheless, there are a number of certain factors consumers would take into consideration, including their income levels, physical state or circumsatances, before buying something. For instance, when it comes to luxury goods, solely a marginal number of purchasers can afford the financial cost. Therefore, no matter how attractive and pursuasive an advertisement is, never can it tempt people to make the same purchase.

From what has been analysed above, it is concluded that by dint of distinctive characteristics and different material wealth, hardly can advertisers make any products or services dominant the market as well as make consumers share uniform taste on merchandise purchased.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 12, 2012   #2
Very impressive start.

critisms against advertisementadvertising---------- criticisms ... a typo :) and I replaced the word advertisement with "advertising" because that sounds better

Below are arguments against this allegation. ------- This is the only weak sentence I found in your intro because you are already asked by the prompt whether you agree on this argument or not. You need to clearly establish your opinion here and then support your opinion with reasons and specific examples in the body paras. So why not have a strong statement in the intro stressing your view on the argument and take your reader in that path in the body paras?

You display strong skills in English writing. Your essay contain very valid and strong ideas and I enjoyed reading it. Just pay attention to its structure :)

Good Luck!
lovekayliex 3 / 3  
Jun 12, 2012   #3
critisms = criticisms

sucessful = successful

adolesents = adolescents (and no comma after)

" her peers are possessing it" could be changed to her peers possess it

What are purchased might be not their actual demands.

favour=favor

same goods as it is the the latest fad - you have two of "the"

circumsatances = circumstances

pursuasive = persuasive

analysed = analyzed

everything else looks great =]


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