Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

[IELTS] 'advertising manipulates people' - Positives and Negatives of Ad's


Jwala 3 / 8 3  
Aug 3, 2014   #1
Topic - Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

In today's material world, we are inundated with various forms of advertising that we cannot easily escape from it. While there are few negative impacts on people, I believe that they have become indispensable part of modern business.

For a variety of reasons, advertising is needed in free market economies. Firstly, it creates public awareness of various products or services offered by companies and inform them about the choices they have. This helps consumers to make right decision to choose a product that leads to customer satisfaction. For instance, on Thanksgiving Day, people get pamphlets from different stores and can compare the prices and details before buying the product. Secondly, small to large business get name, fame and profit by advertisements and becomes a formidable contender in the market. It helps in selling more products, increasing the profit and allows expanding the business and in turn improves the country's economy. Thirdly, advertising agencies has become a creative business that produces clever, witty or humorous commercials or product placements and it has been considered as another source of entertainment for public.

On the other hand, advertising manipulates people to buy things without thinking. Companies often exaggerate the capabilities of their products to seduce the customers and also involve glamorous or famous personalities to bring more attention. For example, Amitabh bachhan, a famous film star is featured in noodles commercial that influence the children easily and they put pressure on their parents to buy them.

In conclusion, though advertising sometimes persuades people to make a false purchase, I think advertisements are inevitable for country's economic development.

cpuissant 1 / 5 2  
Aug 4, 2014   #2
In today's material world, we are inundated with various forms of advertising that we cannot easily escape from it. While there are few negative impacts on people, I believe that they have become indispensable part of modern business.

Take out 'it' from the end of the first sentence (check your tenses) And add "an' between become and indispensable. "Secondly, small to large business get name, fame and profit by advertisements and becomes a formidable contender in the market." Should it be businesses? And becomes should be 'they become' or just 'become'. CHECK TENSES! I struggle with them as well. Pretty solid essay, try to expand more on your conclusion choice.
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Aug 5, 2014   #3
Some grammar issues;

various forms of advertising that we cannot easily escape from itthem .

small to large business gets name

advertising agencies hashave become

On the other hand, advertising manipulates people to buy things without thinking. Companies often exaggerate the capabilities of their products to seduce the customers and also involve glamorous or famous personalities to bring more attention. For example, Amitabh bachhan, a famous film star is featured in noodles commercial that influence the children easily and they put pressure on their parents to buy them.

Overall, your writing has well organized. I give you a suggestion when you write one idea paragraph. You have to compose an example more complex and specific. (who?; how many?; when?; what?; how?; result?). hope, it helps.


Home / Writing Feedback / [IELTS] 'advertising manipulates people' - Positives and Negatives of Ad's