Advertising money: press, cinema, outdoor, radio and TV - my essay for IELTS

expenditures on advertising in UK's car companies

The table illustrates how much money was spent with the aim of advertising in terms of four categories: press, cinema, outdoor, radio and television of four car firms in the UK during 2003. Overall, while the expenditure on TV for advertising was the highest, the lowest can be seen in cinema.

By summing the number of millions of dollars in each row, further insight can be found from the data. Renault came top of the list on account of having the largest volume of money used for advertising, at 132 million dollars. Meanwhile, Rover Vauxhall and Cetirizine invested the same amount of money, precisely 100 million dollars in marketing the products. As can be seen, it is 15 million dollars that four car enterprises allocated on radio.

The marketing strategies of Renault and Rover mainly concentrated on press and TV, when Renault spent 45 million dollars for press, 59 million dollars for TV and Rover paid 38 million dollars for press and 45 million dollars for TV. Meanwhile, Vauxhall and Cetirizine employed television as a dominant way of advertising, at 65 and 75 millions of dollars in turn. On the contrary, the expenditure on cinema incurred the smallest figure. There was 6 and 5 millions of dollars allocated by Renault and Vauxhall on cinema in terms of advertising, whereas there was almost no money spent on by the rest.

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  This is a table for wirting
  

You should really try to seperate your information presentation for the summary. There is a heavy emphasis on the clarity of your information sharing in this section so individual data sharing per sentence gets a higher consideration than a compressed data presentation. Compare your version with the following:

A table has been presented comprised of 4 data divisions. There is a data row indicating 4 car companies that pay for advertising. This is followed by 4 columns composed of advertising types. The advertising types which are paid for in the millions of dollars are comprised of press, cinema, outdoor, radio, and TV. Overall, the trend shows the highest spending on TV, while the lowest spending was on cinema advertising.

Notice how the individualized sentences offer a clearer summary explanation of the presented data. It is concise but complete, and contains a proper trending analysis that basically, delivers a full overview of the given data.

The rest of the report is acceptable but too long. Try to keep the paragraphs concise. While you do stay within the sentence requirement per paragraph, you are not using a summarized form of comparison and analysis reporting so there is a possibility that you will go over the 20 minute writing allowance. Resulting in 226 words being written. That is more than the 200 word advised maximum word count. If you write in the following time allotted manner, you will find that you cannot write more than 200 words.

5 minutes - image analysis
10 minutes - Comparison analysis and reporting draft writing
5 minutes - Proof reading and final content writing

The proof reading and final content writing are important because that is when you spot your errors in terms of TA and GRA requirements, allowing you to correct any score lessening problems your essay may have.

I suggest you to separate paragraph 1 into 2 paragraph instead. Probably it should be like this:

The table illustrates how much money was spent with the aim of advertising in terms of four categories: press, cinema, outdoor, radio and television of four car firms in the UK during 2003.

Overall, while the expenditure on TV for advertising was the highest, the lowest can be seen in cine

Paragraph 1 should be the thesis statement which is the paraphrase of the original