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IELTS ADVERTISING- POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE PART OF OUR LIVES


the leaf ninja 9 / 28  
Jul 9, 2011   #1
Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Hi all, the below is my answer to this question, please evaluate it in terms of grammar, good vocabulary, cohesion, and task achievement. Many thanks!

Nowadays, the use of advertisement through different forms of media such as newspapers, radio and television has become very prevalent, so it is thought to be a necessary part of today's society. Many believe that advertising has brought great benefits to lives therefore it should be considered a positive activity while others have held a complete different idea about this. Both views will be critiqued before a reasonable conclusion is drawn.

First, it is generally understood that advertising is carried out with the main purpose of promoting different products and services or encouraging people to consume more. Advertisements are, therefore, very important for many businesses to increase sales and hence profits. Also, to consumers, advertising can bring them many benefits. For example, customers of telecommunication services will have an idea about the current offers of different companies and hence they can compare them and then have a better decision in choosing their internet or mobile phone plans. From all of these, it is easy to see why the idea that advertising is a positive part of life will garner strong support.

However, it can be seen that some people have argued against advertising due to its negative impacts. Firstly, a huge amount of different advertisements could be sent automatically by a system to personal phones or email addresses, this is generally known as spam, and causes discomfort or even annoyance to many people. Secondly, advertising can be very expensive and not every advertising campaign can be done successfully and brings good results. Therefore, advertising is believed by many, a financial burden to businesses.

In conclusion, after analyzing the pros and cons of advertising, both of the views have strong support, but it is felt that more good comes from advertising than bad. Thus, the idea that advertising is a positive part of life can be more supported.

w_even 6 / 14 1  
Jul 10, 2011   #2
usually the side you agree with, should be the second last paragraph.
Alisha123 9 / 18  
Jul 10, 2011   #3
essay structure is not being properly followed.. More ideas are needed too.

also to work on sentence structure..
OP the leaf ninja 9 / 28  
Jul 11, 2011   #4
Hi Ana,

Thank you for your comment! I wrote this piece of paper in a 40 minute time as suggested to do with IELTS writing test, so the ideas were just what came across my mind at that time. I just tried to give support to both sides when i discussed them. Next time I would spend a bit more time to think it right to have strong argument then.

Thanks for the advice about the word critique, i would have used "analyse" instead. I will be more careful in choosing what word to use and structure my sentence to be less complicated to read.

I appreciate all of the advices of yours.
shahdad 7 / 17  
Jul 11, 2011   #5
is there any way to score the IELTS writings?
amrosca 4 / 130  
Jul 11, 2011   #6
Next time I would spend a bit more time to think it right to have strong argument then.

Yep, do so! If you have 40 minutes to write I think you could take at least 5 to put some thoughts together. :D
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jul 11, 2011   #7
Many believe that advertising has brought great benefits to lives. Therefore, it should be considered a positive activity while others have held a completely different...

For example, customers of telecommunication services will have an idea about the current offers of different companies and hence they can compare them and then have a better decision in choosing their internet or mobile phone plans.----Wow, this sentence is constructed in an excellent way. You are a master of language. Capitalize Internet, though.

I don't like the way you wrote "more supported" at the end. I think you should revise that. But overall, this is some great writing!


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