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monica0407 3 / 4 1  
Jul 30, 2020   #1

success of advertising

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, while some people acknowledge a success of advertising in apealing to buyers, others deny this because commercials are becoming too common. I will discuss these behaviours and give my opinion on this essay.

People admit to a wonderful success of advertising because the quality of commercials is being in a higher level. In other words, consumers are being persuaded by high-quality advertisements rather than a real quality of goods for shopping. For example, on TV commercial breaks, watchers are easily attracted by contents and visual effects of those advertisements, which make people will splurge on those products.

However, others disagree with this success because a range of ideas used for advertisements is more and more similar. Obviously, people will not pay attention to what an advertisement is showing if there is no difference on the content compared to others. This can lead to a sense of boredom due to the repetition. For example, when a commercial attracts many viewers, there will be numerous versions after that, which leads to a poor attraction of the advertising on some people.

In my opinion, the advertising is still powerful in attracting shoppers because they are more and more amusing. They are not only normal advertisements which advertises products, but also tools to convey a source of inspiration and meaningful stories to watchers. For instance, some advertisers call for a protection on our environment on their advertisements, as a way to persuade the public buying the products.

In conclusion, while some people disclam an influence of advertising due to its repetition, others and I believe that an advertising industry is in the successful period through its attraction.
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Jul 31, 2020   #2
You did very good work on this essay. You properly discussed both points of view with clear explanations and reasons. Though the grammar was not perfect. Your message came across without confusing the reader. It is also important to note that you prpvided excellent gender free pronoun usage in the essay. That will definitely boost your GRA score.

Positives aside, you could have improved the essay in a few places. In the restatement, you could have provided at least one more sentence to help achieve the 3 sentence minimum per paragraph. Your examples could have used one more persuading sentence after its presentation as well, just to help reiterate your point.

Regardless, this is still a good attempt at a comparative reason plus personal opinion essay. You definitely show the potential to score highly in the future. Keep practicing. You have potential as a future a student in an English university.