While waiting for the bill, I thought how perfect our dinner was. The sky was shimmering, the moon was illuminated and I was with my relatives at some brilliant restaurant in the city. The hot sizzling squid, mouth-watering kare-kare, heavenly grilled tuna belly and well-seasoned pinakbet were the highlights of the feast. Right in my comfortable seat, waiting for one of us say the line "Anda ya 'ta!" which means "Let's leave now!" in the Chavacano dialect, a sudden chill was felt at the back of my neck. As my response to stimuli, I slowly lifted my hand and placed it where the awkward iciness was . I felt the touch of a wiggly and jiggly harmless, nonliving object. I wondered where the gelatin came from but in just a second, I felt the tickle when it migrated to my left shoulder blade. I froze. Gelatins don't crawl.
I had a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger that I can't hold any longer. I uttered a loud piercing cry then the whole world in the restaurant stopped. Embarrassed and traumatized, I never want to feel the touch of a long-bodied, four-legged, coldblooded lizard ever again.
Lizards in your ceilings are common here in the Philippines. Filipinos, except me, like having these reptiles in their homes to have fewer insects. I used to not fear these living creatures; in fact, I even used to play with them in the palm of my hand. But right after what happened years ago, I knew I had Sciolodentosaurosophobia.
Living in a life with lizards that can be seen almost anywhere is not really that difficult for me. When I see them, I get disgusted then avoid, and we're done. What I always have to make sure is not to let that creature touch my skin and see them fall from the ceiling or else my vocal chords will explode.
Aside from lizard, there is one more fear that I keep inside of me - the fear of losing someone who has a special part in your life. They say the loss of anyone of anything is the worst feeling ever. I don't have much experiences but I know I am afraid. I am afraid to lose my grandmother.
Relatives keep updating us about my grandmother's health. She's suffering from cancer. At first, I didn't give much attention to what they were saying because first of all, we never had a devoted relationship. But these past few days, before hearing every news about her, I'd dream of her and I'd feel her presence.
Two months ago, I dreamt of grandma at the barrio. She looked so frail but she was very excited to see grandpa. Grandpa passed away when dad was still in his sixth grade. When I got out of bed to take my delicious breakfast and tell my parents about my dream, dad was already on the phone talking to his sister about grandma's condition. It was not good. "Your grandma said she might not be able to reach the moment where you'll have the letters 'Dr.' before your name. I just did my best to cheer her up," dad sadly said.
Fear is a difficult problem to overcome; it grips the minds of many of us. But this shouldn't prevent people from achieving success. Whether your fear is an animal or losing someone it is something that has be conquered someday to turn you into a stronger and a better person.