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Which age group is easier to be influenced by views of celebrities?

diligentwriter 3 / 3  
Sep 26, 2017   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

importance of VIPs news

There is no doubt that the young and the elderly are quite different on various angles. But which group is easier to be influenced by views of celebrities is hard to answer. Some people consider the elderly are the ones who tend to be control by others' views because they are loyal to someone they follow. However, I agree that youngsters take opinions of celebrities more serious for following reasons.

Firstly, although the elderly tend to follow the rules set up by authorities, they stick to the rules even those rules are abolished. That is to say, the elderly are so stubborn that they deny changing. For instance, my grandfather, who was from mainland China, obey the most famous celebrity: president Chiang at that time, and he did care about president's opinion. In the rest of his life, he rejects changes of time and environments because the thoughts of president become his. It causes no one can change his mind.

Secondly, the young are eager to be look cool and awesome, easily been affected by the opinions of someone famous. At that ages, teenagers try their best to find a role model, and celebrities fit that kind of role. For instance, nowadays students at Taiwan start singing hip-hop because the hot TV show and many celebrities regard this type of music as the greatest. It was hard to image this trend few years ago because few people listened to hip-hop.

Last but not least, the young are a little naive, so they trust what someone well-known says. Young people are likely to be lack of critical thinking skills. They just jump up the wagon when someone well-known express his idea. On the other hand, the elderly are likely to doubt what celebrities say because they have been cheated through their entire lives. For this reason, young people tend to be manipulated by others' views.

In short, I feel the young consider opinions of celebrities more important than the older people do. That is because old people are too hard-headed to change and because younger people want to be as cool as celebrities.

thx in advance

xhang24 3 / 5 2  
Sep 26, 2017   #2
First of all, you need to pay more attention to your grammar and word choices ("to be controlled"; "to look cool" not "to be look cool" and "looking cool" is not formal; etc ).

Secondly, I do not find your supporting ideas really persuasive. For example, the second paragraph where you use the example of your grandfather only obeying to one president does not justify anything of your idea that "youngsters take opinions of celebrities more serious". To me, it just shows that elder people are tend to be more loyal to a certain celeb and only follow the authorities. The paragraph somehow is irrelevant.

Well, that is my personal opinion. Wish you luck in your studying!
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,804 2614  
Sep 26, 2017   #3
Sheanen, the opening paraphrase is not accurate in terms of representing the original prompt. You have a tendency to discuss the prompt in a manner that you feel is proper rather than simply explaining or retelling what the original prompt said in your own words. If I had paraphrased this prompt, it would have resulted in the following:

These days, it appears the young people value the opinions of celebrities while the older people do not give too much importance to the celebrity points of view. In this essay, I will discuss why I agree with that statement. I will be presenting reasons and examples that I feel will better illustrate my point of view.

It is important that you learn how to stick to the original prompt in your paraphrasing because that will represent your ability to understand English topics for discussion and discussion instructions. The closer your interpretation of the original prompt, the better your TA score will be. All you have to do is make sure that you do not stray too far from the original prompt and that you use synonyms that can help you to better present your understanding of the topic and instructions.

By the way, even though the essay asks you to use reasons and examples to support your answer, you need to keep a distance and not get emotional in your response. Your presentation shows a clear irritation at your grandfather and other senior citizens. That makes your point of view less objective and more personal. Unless the essay asks you to get personal, use an objective point of view. That means, do not get too emotional and lax in your presentation. Retain an academic tone and make sure that you use logical examples that, although personal in nature, does not show a sense of emotion such as irritation or anger at the topic of the discussion. Remember, this is an academic, not personal essay, after all.

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