Age limit, Who is obliged to work?

Filipinos are hard workers

Does age really matter? We Filipinos are known as hard workers. No matter how hard our job and small our compensation is, we ignore the sacrifices we make just to supply our families. Sometimes we tend to go outside the country just to find a stable job that could sustain our "needs and wants". Known as OFW's (Over Seas Filipino Workers). Some mother even choose to babysit someone's child than babysitting their own child, they choose to leave the people they love just for them to eat three times a day. Most of them get abused by their own employer, sometimes it comes to a point that some of them die with no great injustice. Some of us are way beyond the age limit or was furlough and our contributions not enough to sustain our medications. Some of our Senior Citizens have to take care of their own grandchildren for some reasons. We are indeed helpless because of poverty. We were born poor, we lived beggarly and we are going to die broke.

Now as a Filipino most of us cannot afford higher education but some are skilled workers with the help of TESDA. Most skilled workers are middle aged; some of them are 50 to 60 years older and beyond. Now put yourself in their shoe and imagine, if you are skilled you know what to do and you know "how" things work to a job you are willing to be employed and you need money but there is an age limit and you're beyond it. Or you were furlough that your employment position requires younger employee and you desperately needed a job for your expensive medication and thinking you may be beyond the age limit but still is able to work. I certainly disagree about the age limit of 50 to 65 years old as long as they could still be able to work and earn money in a fair way. I think age limit should be 70 years old and beyond because that is the age that a senior citizen should be resting and enjoying.

If we work hard our sacrifices pays off no matter what, if we know our responsibilities, if we grab every opportunities and if we take nothing for granted every hard work always pays off. By believing in our selves being humble and confident, with a little dash of prayer that success and goal we are aiming will be aimed.

Ello, There seems to be a disparity between your title and the focus of your essay. Based upon your title, the concept of the paper should have been a discussion, on general terms of the age limit for hiring employees as it applies to the general population of the world, not just the Philippine workers. If this was not your intention and what you intended to discuss was just the age limitation in the Philippines, then your title, and the accompanying thesis statement for your essay should have indicated that. As it is, your thesis statement is not clear in your first paragraph, nor is the concept or reason for the discussion of the paper. You may want to rethink the overall presentation based upon this observation.

Your discussion of the age limit should have been clear from the start of the essay. By indicating the Philippine worker age concept in the second paragraph, you created confusion as to the actual discussion focus of the paper. What is the point of the OFW in relation to age limitations on employment? What are the age limitations for hiring in your country? What its benefits and drawbacks? Why are you asking "Who is obliged to work"? The concept of the paper may be very clear in your mind but it most certainly not clear in your actual presentation.

Any sentences shouldn't be too long (probably within 20words). There is a very long sentence in the 2nd paragraph, and reading it is so painful. Please use commas when appropriate.

The 3rd paragraph is very confusing. There are too many 'if'.