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Do you agree or disagree: being active is healthier than staying at home


frankie95 1 / -  
Nov 25, 2015   #1
This essay is for my english class.I just need someone to give some tips on how to make it better. thank for any help in advance. I really appreciate it.

Franceska

Many people do not realize, and often underestimate, the importance of good health. Health, as they say, is wealth and that's why I absolutely agree that being active is healthier than staying at home.

People are gaining a lot of weight these days and its due of eating enormous amounts of fast and junk foods and as the result of that all the'll have at the end is obesity. Even childhood obesity is on the rise. More and more children are overweight, and it's getting worse. Nothing good has came from being a "couch potato",that's why people should exercise more.

Getting regular physical activity is one of the best things you can do for your health for example it lowers the risk of different diseases. Health is not only about physical aspects of health. It also means being healthy in mind too. Even an unhealthy mind results in an unhealthy body.. To keep a healthy mind requires a lot of work, as well as, a combination of the right foods and exercise.

Most people think that exercising takes up a lot of time and it requires too much work. When people actually take the time to try it they'll realize that even exercising can actually be fun. My father and I wake up early every morning to do jogging at the beach and not only that we breath fresh air but we also have a lot of fun together. It doesn't matter how you exercise, as long as you are being active. Everyone enjoys different sports or activities, so it's important to figure out which is the best for you. When you having fun you don't even realize that you're exercising and you look forward to it everyday. Setting goals and rewards will help you stay motivated and consistent with exercising. There is no greater feeling than achieving a weight lose goal and being able to feel good about your body. It makes exercising well worth it.

You don't need to run a marathon everyday, but you can do other things to stay in shape. No matter what it is you're doing, as long as you're moving, you're doing something right!"Being active is a crucial element which may guarantee an individual a happier, longer, and healthier life"

hasbi 29 / 42 23  
Nov 25, 2015   #2
hi.. franceska...

here my advice for you.
you should support your statement with scientific facts, from journal, books, or newspaper
Even childhood obesity is on the rise. More and more children are overweight, and it's getting worse
why you say child obesity rise and more and more are overweight?
it is unclear, you solely put argument without fact. so it is not strong.
getting worse? what the effect of obesity why you say like that.

you said "Getting regular physical activity is one of the best things you can do for your health for example it lowers the risk of different diseases."

please show to readers source of information related to this, like result of surveyor research

if the task AGREE and DISAGREE .
IF you agree: it means that what the benefits of being active is healthier than staying at home?
IF you DISAGREE:it means that what the drawbacks of being active is healthier than staying at home?

Imprtant: although do you totally agree with this statement, you are not only put the explanation about benefits it, but also explain the drawbacks of this
hasdymath 11 / 25  
Nov 25, 2015   #3
hi there, let me help you out regarding your fist paragraph, since you need more fixing.
here is my advice

Think about your "angle" on your topic. If you're writing an introduction, you probably already know what your topic is and what you want to say about it. (If you don't, you need to go back and do that before you try to write an introduction!) A good essay has an "angle," or way of presenting argument or information, to its readers. Think about what questions your essay addresses and why they're important.[2]

You should have your thesis before you start writing your introduction. It can even help to save the introduction for last, after you've written the rest of your essay, so you know exactly what your argument is.

Remember that a thesis statement Is an assertion, not a fact or an observation. It takes a stand; someone should be able to argue either in favor or against the argument in your thesis.
broibra 17 / 19 3  
Nov 26, 2015   #4
Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

Nothing good has camehas come from being a "couch potato",that's why people should exercise more.

When you havinghave fun you don't even realize ...

There is no greater feeling than achieving a weight loseloss goal and being.


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