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Do you agree that different clothes influence the way people behave?

samanhb 2 / 3  
Apr 5, 2017   #1

What you wear is who you are

There is an old saying in China that "horses rely on their saddles while people rely on their clothes". I have three statement for approving that different clothes influence on the way people behave: first of all according to different occasions we choose different clothes, Second clothes may determine the activities or jobs we undertake and at last sometimes our feeling is the one that decide what we should we were.

While it is true that people may undertake different activity although they are wearing the same kind of clothes everywhere and their basic behavior won't change. It must also recognized that we choose different cloth for different cloths. While you cannot always dress in your best every minute of the day, you should dress for the occasion, activity or setting. What may be appropriate for a picnic (shorts or blouse) is not when dining at an upscale restaurant. Pajamas are great to sleep in, but wearing such clothing in public should not be done. Jeans and T-shirts are fine for hanging out but aren't for every occasion.

Although many people claim that since we are an independent human being, our minds which decide our behavior should be independent too. One can also argue that we are expected to behave in a particular way when we are wearing particularly kind of clothes. When someone wears the costume of a king, he will start to behave differently. This liability restricts the king to behave like ordinary people. If the king start to behave like ordinary people, others will make fun of him and it can cause the country to collapse. On the other hand if king show royalty, people completely obey him.

Some people believe that society expect us to behave like "ladies and gentlemen" in formal situations, and it is needed for us to conform to the norms of society. It can also be argued that we have the right to choose our clothes, and we can wear what we like. We should be our own master instead of just following the norms and losing our own style, it was we who choose to wear different clothes, we can wear warm and colorful because we feel so happy and energetic to day or we may choose a hat instead of a pair of sun glasses for we thinks it is the fashion of today.

To sum up, as I mentioned in the beginning, clothes are definitely the article that can control our behaviors. How we behave may change with clothes; in the other word, our conditions, feelings and activities have straightly influenced on the way of our clothing.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,808 2616  
Apr 6, 2017   #2
Saman, one of the policies of the forum is that you must include the prompt statement in your posting so that your essay can be accurately reviewed for compliance with the prompt requirements. That is more for the benefit of the other users here who may wish to assist you in reviewing your essay and not the contributor because I am highly familiar with the various prompts for various English tests. That said, I am going to tell you what the faults of this essay are.

The first fault, is that there is no proper paraphrasing of the prompt statement. The first paragraph of a TOEFL test is meant to test your English comprehension skills. That is why you are required to deliver the topic for discussion in your own understanding. Simply relaying a Chinese proverb does not accomplish that task. You must always do your best to represent the original topic for discussion and the instructions for the discussion. You should not discuss the facts of your essay in the opening statement. The proper introduction for this would have been:

Some people believe that clothes dictate the way that a person behaves. Depending what a person a wearing, his clothes have the ability to influence the way that he conducts himself in a public setting. I strongly agree with this statement based on 3 well known and commonly accepted reasons. I will discuss these reasons below.

Your essay discussion is sound and acceptable. You have used accurate examples in the defense of your stance and offer the reader a chance to consider all of your reasons based upon the everyday applications and observations of the way people dress. There is a problem in your sentence development though. In paragraph 2 sentence 1, you created a hanging sentence. It does not have a complete though presentation because the end result of the thought you presented is unclear to the reader. Practice complete thought development at all times and review your essay sentences for coherence before submitting the essay for scoring.

The conclusion is also problematic because of the way you presented it. Since the required sentence presentation is always a minimum of 3 and a maximum of 5, you must always practice using full stops with a period instead of presenting a continuous thought process with the use commas and semicolons.

Even with these pre-existing mistakes in your essay, it will still probably get a decent score of 4 at the most, 3 at the least.
frenchfries 7 / 18  
Apr 6, 2017   #3
I personally think your essay has some grammar mistakes such as in paragraph 1 " what we should we were ''?. You should not write capital letter between your sentence. However, your essay is quite okay except some mistakes.
OP samanhb 2 / 3  
Apr 8, 2017   #4
thank you very much, your comments were so helpful

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