Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


Agree or disagree? it is essential to have ability to plan and organize(TOEFL)


Allen Hu 8 / 26 4  
Sep 26, 2013   #1
Do oyu agree or disagree with the following statement? As modern life becomes more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Please give me some feedbacks ~~ Thanks in advance!!

With the fast rolling wheels of modern society, life becomes more complex and is not easy to handle than in the past.Therefore, it is essential for people, especially young ones, to possess the ability to plan and organize since it can improve the efficiency and reduce the crisis of our actions. Meanwhile, eliminating meaningless actions.

First of all, great planning and organizing ability is able to cause our actions more efficient and productive. Take myself as an example, I used to be overwhelmed by the burden of preparing for the final exam, submitting my paper, and finishing my internship work at the end of each term. Yet, in this year, following the sugestion of my roommate, John, I make a to-do list to plan and organize perfectly everything I should get done in the final and hence take every tasks and trivials into control. This plan ability helps me a lot, making me climb to the top rank of the class while finishing everything else.

Equally important, the capacity to plan and organize also help young people to eliminate the crisis in their actions, which may ruin one's whole effort over a very long time. As we all know, the employees in every company have to create profit as much as they can for their supervisors and complete their assignments perfectly. If some employees lack the ability to plan and organize ahead, they may get the procrastination and therefore take into action until the deadline is imminent. However,things have been changing all the time. For instance, the deadline of task is shifted to an eariler date for the change of company's schedule. In this case, those employees who did not plan and finish their assignments ahead of time prehaps are unable to finish these tasks on time and therefore will be penalized or get fired. Every employee can not afford this kind of loss.

Finally, some assert that the ability to plan and organize can be learned until obtaining a job. Thus, it is not need for young people to possess this ability. Nevertheless, this ability is also essential for young people since young people can overcome their bad habits and fulfill their goals more quickly with this ability. As searching information on the internet, young people are probably distracted by other attractions such as online games or social webs. At this circumstances, they would surf on the internet for hours and end up no where. It is obviously a huge waste of time. But if they make their plan in the first place, and then stick to their plans, they could get their work done quickly beyond their imagination.

In this complex society, we, young people, are encompassed with multiple tasks, so the ability to plan and organize is undoubtedly a powerful and sharp weapon that we must be armed with.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Sep 26, 2013   #2
This is a good introduction, but it only does not contain the essential feature which is your opinion. In an Agree/disagree essay, you need to conclude the introduction with a sentence that clearly state your opinion.

First of all, great planning and organizing ability is able to cause our actions more efficient and productive.

.... very good :)
Overall, this is a good essay. You display good writing skills , plus you follow the appropriate essay structure. Aim for a good score! :)
OP Allen Hu 8 / 26 4  
Sep 26, 2013   #3
Thank you very much dumi!!!

But I do not understand why you said that my sentence do not contain the essential feature,

", it is essential for people, especially young ones, to possess the ability to plan and organize" this is my main sentence, isn't it ?
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Sep 26, 2013   #4
Okkkkkk... yep, you've got a point. But when I read your intro for the first time it didn't strike me that you were supporting that opinion. It's always good to make a clear statement about your position and ideally it should be the last sentence in your introduction.
OP Allen Hu 8 / 26 4  
Sep 26, 2013   #5
Ohhhhh,I see this time~
I should put my statment into the last sentence of the first paragraph , right?
Erikd 3 / 6  
Sep 28, 2013   #6
Great job! I feel you understood the topic well and answered the question directly.


Home / Writing Feedback / Agree or disagree? it is essential to have ability to plan and organize(TOEFL)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳