Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Agree or disagree with forcing a school uniform .


Mohamedos 1 / -  
Aug 29, 2012   #1
Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Could you please rate my essay
--------------------------------------------
In the high school, students should wear the same school uniform. Making that would increase the affiliation of the student to his school, change his look to his peers and increase his passion for learning.

In the army, all soldiers must wear the same uniform and walk with one pattern. The reason is because that, by these strict measures, their affiliation to their group increase and they become more loyal. And of course that is what we want from our children. We want them to belong to their schools by their souls and consider it as their real mentor not just a place where they learn and the connection is over by the end of their studies.

Wearing the same uniform will increase the student's friendship and love towards his other peers even they aren't his direct friends or even they were in a different year. He will consider anyone wearing like him as a brother. When they see each other on the street, they will say hello even if it's the first time for them to meet. I think It has the same effect as playing soccer with your friends in the same team. It enhances the relationships between the students.

And what do anyone needs from a high school student except learning and studying well. In my opinion, the education process will be far better if there were one uniform for all the students. They'd love to come to school, they will feel that they have an obligation towards their school and this will, of course, increase their capability to receive education.

Believe it or not, it has an effect on teachers as well! The teacher will feel that he is the coach of some team and that he bares a responsibility towards the "members" of his class and he will try to give them whatever he can to make them the best.

In a conclusion, the uniform is a key factor in the education process that has a vast effect on both the student and the teacher as well.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Aug 29, 2012   #2
In the high school, students should wear the same school uniform. Making that would increase the affiliation of the student to his school, change his look to his peers and increase his passion for learning.

Is this an introduction? Sorry, but what you wrote as an introduction does not include any crucial parts of an introduction. The introduction should start with a motivator. Then write the thesis statement and finally mention your opinion, either agree or disagree.

In a conclusion, the uniform is a key factor in the education process that has a vast effect on both the student and the teacher as well.

In the conclusion, you should first restate the thesis statement to remind the reader what issue was discussing in the body, and then write a clincher.

You should also work on vocabulary and grammar.
Hope the comments help


Home / Writing Feedback / Agree or disagree with forcing a school uniform .