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IELTS; Do you agree to making unpaid community service compulsory in schools?


Hayleyyy 1 / -  
Jul 3, 2013   #1
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the rapid progress of civilisation, education has become the focal point of deliberation in modern society. A sizeable percentage of people assert that schools should be considered unpiad community service as mandatory subject, whereas some others strongly disagree with the above contention.

The proponents of the former argument advocate that the curriculum of participanting free social programs benefit society and pupils at the same time. To elaborate, those activities provide new exprience that young people can face to the real world, which they would not learn through textbooks.In addition, the efficent and concentration of study can improve due to the outdoor activites that allow them to feel free from the timetable of packed with academic subjects.

On the other side of coin, there are voices in strong opposition, saying that pupils should prepare their exams that can determined their futures. To be specify, it is undeniable that getting into reputation universities are the major aim of pupils that ensure better future. Thus, nothing is as important as preparing exams as being students of secondary school.

Looking at the aforementioned statements, I can say I am in agreement with the firsg view. Young people are becoming cigizens that vital roles in society, rather thatn just business people. Offering at least once a month volunteering work can be the best way to combine with academic study and social programs.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 3, 2013   #2
With the rapid progress of civilisation, education has become the focal point of deliberation in modern society.

well what's the link between this and your prompt? It's better you open your essay with something that has more relevance to your prompt because the task of the introduction is to introduce your prompt to the reader. So, whatever you say, it needs to connect well with what your prompt suggests.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jul 9, 2013   #3
Dumi has discussed about the content of your essay. Let me talk about some grammar issues;

pupils should prepare for their exams that can determineddetermine their futuresfuture

To be specify,

... To be specific is the correct form. (to specify / to be specific)

reputation universities

... it should be "reputed universities" or "universities with good reputation"

To be specify, it is undeniable that getting into reputation universities are the major aim of pupils that ensure better future

To be more specific, getting admission to a highly reputed university is the dream of many students who are looking forward to a bright future.


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