Do you agree that music is a good way to bring people in different cultures and ages together?

Impact of Music on Society

Music has numerous impacts in our daily life. It is not only to help people relax after working times or convey the cultures to different places, but it is also a suitable method of connecting people of many ages and areas together. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the given statement, and this essay will discuss the reasons why and elaborate upon them with many supporting ideas.

To begin with, music can transfer the characteristics of that country. For example, Vietnam has many national instruments like monochord. When some composers are inspired by them and use them to create the beat and perform the songs on social media or on stage, it can get attention from the audiences. After watching the performance and being attracted, the audiences may look for information about the songs, and the birth of the instrument, and they can learn how to use this. In addition, in many music videos, artists also use many spectacular scenes, the national clothes. For an instant, Hoang Thuy Linh always uses these things in her music videos, and a lot of foreign people love this. They are interested in her talents, her beautiful voice, and the beauty of her culture.

The second main point is that music can help people of many ages connect. Many well-known bands such as Westlife, and One Direction, or singers like Michale Jackson have several songs that all generations can enjoy. Family members like parents and children can share their feelings about the songs. Furthermore, the adults also tell the young the experience or stories that the songs contain like war, love, and life's experiences. Besides, adults may listen to music for the young because of many reasons such as the songs are catchy, or they want to have the topic to communicate with the children.

On the whole, music has numerous advantages for society. Not only it helps people to know the diverse culture, but also brings people together.

The topic is not a restatement but an opinion presentation of the writer which is not the expected interpretation for the given topic. As such, the topic rephrasing will receive a failing consideration. The writer must avoid immediately discussing his opinion in the first paragraph as that is a content and format specific paragraph which establishes the foundational score of the essay. This presentation misses on that mark. The writer's opinion presentation is incomplete because he did offer a measured response, but failed to summarize his reasons for his opinion. The clarity of his opinion will also be scored based upon his summarized reasoning presentation and its relevance to the discussion + his opinion.

As for the reasoning paragraphs, I would have to say that these are solidly presented and uses relatable examples to support its explanation. There is no problem with the relevance of the examples and the validity of the explanations. The writer uses simple English words that, since these are properly used in the sentence, created understandable sentence structures that allow for easy understanding of the text. These are definitely C+C increasing considerations although the actual mix of various sentence types will be considered missing to a partial extent.

When it comes to the concluding summary, there is a problem with the presentation because it does not meet the reverse paraphrase requirements of the presentation. In fact, it offers a prompt deviation that will negatively affect the final score of the presentation.