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Do you agree with the statement that computers belong to the most important inventions ever?


phambaongoc 1 / 1  
Jun 30, 2020   #1

Computers - the most important invention of the last hundred years



It is argued that computers have been the most crucial invention for the last centuries. Anyway, I totally agree with this opinion because computers have a lot of these positive aspects.

Firstly, computers are used for many leisure activities. Nowadays, people have to work and study a lot, so they become more stressed than in the past. As a result, their demands of doing leisure activities like watching the film, listening to music, ... are increasing. These activities also need computers, we do these activities by computers.

Secondly, computers help us a lot in work and study because it is useful. For example, you have to report something and send it to your school or your company, you can send them by many social media like Facebook, Zalo, .... without meeting face-to-face. Or you have to do a thesis but you do not have any knowledge about that field and you could not go to many places to receive information for your writing, you can search on computers for many ideas for your dissertation.

Thirdly, computers are capable of storing and accessing huge amounts of information; for example, a computer's software like eBook readers can store hundreds or thousands of books, given enough storage capacity. By being able to store books, documents, movies, pictures, and songs digitally, you can quickly find what you need with a search and share information between devices, so it eliminates the need for paper and plastics used to make non-digital versions of the media.

To sum up, in my opinion, computers have a lot of good aspects that we can explore. Computers are the most important invention of the last hundred years.



HuongGiangNguyen 4 / 12  
Jun 30, 2020   #2
... invention for of the last centuries. Anyway, I totally agree ... have a lot of these positive aspects.

... their demands of doing leisure activities entertainment like watching the film, listening to music, ... are increasing. These activities also need computers, we do these activities are mainly performed on by computers.

...and study because it is useful. For example, you can have to report something and send it reports to ... company, you can send them by many via social media like Facebook, Zalo, .... without ... Or you have to do a ... and you could cannot go to many places to receive collect information for ... search on computers the internet for many ideas for your dissertation.

... can store hundreds or thousands of books, given enough its vast ...
... between devices, so . This it eliminates ... and plastics used to ... of the media in storage.

... aspects that we can explore benefit people. Therefore, Computers are ...

Recommendation
- Work more on your opening and closing paragraph. A proper introduction should include background sentence, detailed background sentence, thesis and outline. A conclusion should include a summary and restatement of thesis.

- Avoid using first-person pronouns which make your essay sound less objective.
- Work more on grammar and punctuation.
- Avoid informal language and replace "..." by "just to name a few".
fatika3007 4 / 8 3  
Jun 30, 2020   #3
1.It might be better to state brief and clear explanation about what kind of positive aspect of computer as to make your reader understand your idea. Two ideas with well developed body paragraph is more preferable than you give three ideas.

2.Body Paragraph :
- learn again about how to make simple sentence, complex sentence, and compound complex sentences.
- to make clear and well develop body paragraph, you can follow this structure: 1) state your topic sentence, 2) give your reason, 3) the implication of your idea 4) example that comprise 5W+1H

3.Conclusion :
Lear about how to make good pharaphrase from the introduction paragraph and giving short opinion/ suggestion about this topic as to avoid the repetition
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,252 3656  
Jul 1, 2020   #4
You should have presented the reason as to why the computers are considered the most important invention of the last century. All of the original prompts include the following:

- Topic
- Reason
- Discussion instruction

You provided only the topic and response to the question. The reason is missing. Which is why the paragraph did not meet the 3 -5 sentence requirement. The prompt paraphrase you presented is incomplete as per the scoring requirements.

When you form these sentences, always keep an academic tone. Using the word "anyway" connotes a casual discussion rather than an academic discussion. Never use words that connote casualness and uncertainty in your presentation. You are expected to write a response similar to a classroom based response paper, so do not use casual references in your sentences. Maintain a formal tone throughout.

The essay should have only 2 reasoning discussions to create a 4 paragraph essay. A 5 paragraph essay is used only in comparison with personal point of view discussions. As such, you have really too many words, which resulted in more than several errors in grammar and sentence development. The increased word count focus, rather than the appropriate word count forced uncorrected errors in your presentation. Always concentrate on a clear discussion with a cleaned up word presentation rather than an extremely long but error filled essay. You should do well enough writing only 275-290 words.

The concluding summary should be longer than a single sentence. The expectation is that you will present the following previous information in that section:
- Restate the topic
- Deliver reason 1
- Address reason 2
- Repeat your opinion as the closing line.
OP phambaongoc 1 / 1  
Jul 1, 2020   #5
Can someone give a band score for my writing?


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