TOEFL - It is important to set realistic goals than ambitious goals
In my opinion, I agree with the statement that 'it is important to set the realistic goals than ambitious goals'. Realistic goal represent an objective in which we are willing and able to work hard towards. Ambitious goals need a long term plan and hard work and also are not easy to start up. Realistic goals lead us to a clear direction to be focused. There is a realistic chance that in given right circumstances. we are able to achieve it.
First, I think that when we set a realistic goal it is meant to be achieve with the given circumstances around us. The success rate of realistic goals are more than the ambitious goals. While pursuing the realistic goals we know from where we have to start, how we will achieve it. However, ambitious goals don't give us a clear path to be focused on. We have to make a path or we walk to a direction where we are not so sure about the reach the end that we desire. For instance, one of my friend had small business of clothing sets goal to make profit of a million over a month. It is quite ambitious goal to set for the small business vendor , in order to achieve his goal he does hard work everyday but at last he couldn't achieve it. As a result of failure he came under great debt . Instead of having this ambitious goal if he had set a realistic goal , results would be different.
Second, realistic goal gives us a sense of personal satisfaction. It make us believe in ourselves and also raise our confidence. On the other hand ambitious goal can lead us to self destruction. We need to make a lot of sacrifices in order to achieve our ambitious goal. The sacrifice that we make for the goal may not be worth it. There is a high possibility that the sacrifice we do, may not give the desirable end result and personal satisfaction. So, I think that it is important to set a realistic goal to have a happy and peaceful life where we don't have to neglect ourselves and make much sacrifices which may not be worth it.
In addition, realistic goals are more likely to be achieved. People having realistic goals suffer less also get less criticism and failure, they are likely to have a carefree and happy life as compare to those who are pursuing the ambitious goals. Realistic goals motivate a person to achieve it. People having ambitious goals are are likely to give up on criticism and failure only some people get the success over many sacrifice that they make over years. So I think that it is more important for a person to have a realistic goal that can be fulfilled.
In conclusion, I think that it is more important to set realistic goals as it show a clear direction to be focused, grow confidence in ourselves , motivate us to work hard, likely to be achieved. Whereas ambitious goals have less success rate , people are likely to give up on failure and criticism, it may also take us to a self destruction. In my view realistic goals also helps us to get the success with less sacrifice than ambitious goal which also help to get a happy life life. So it is important to set realistic goals.
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You do not really need to count out your discussion paragraphs. An academic opinion paper uses topic sentences rather than ordinal numbers for the presentation. That is because your discussion paragraphs need to be connected through transition sentences, or a sentence that will connect one topic to another in the next paragraph. Thus showing a clear academic discussion ability that is required of college students in UK and US schools. Topic sentences better support your presentations rather than word fillers and place holders such as ordinals.
The TOEFL test does not require a concluding paragraph in its presentation. The use of phrases such as "In conclusion" is less effective in this test. Rather, a clear discussion wrap, without making it obvious that it is a conclusion, would be better appreciated. Rather than saying "In conclusion", it would be better to simply use a concluding topic sentence or phrase. For example you could have said "All things considered..." or "As one considers these discussion points..."
Hello Pallavi. You have written an excellent essay. Did you check the time and the word count? The advice given above by Holt is good but you need not worry about using first, second etc. as transition words. You can use other expressions also for changing the paragraphs as taught in the classroom. You can conclude your essay with In conclusion, or To sum up.