Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


IELTS: agricultural land becomes less productive; Worldwide land degradation


MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 8, 2013   #1
Topic: The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart illustrates the main incentives why worldwide land was degraded around the world whereas the table depicts the impacts of these reasons on three different areas throughout the 1990s.

Overall, over-grazing was responsible for the majority of counterproductive agricultural land around the world. Likewise, the effects of three reasons varied considerably with Europe having the largest proportion of land degradation.

Over one third of global land were less productive owing over-grazing, 5% higher than the second major cause, deforestation. This was closely followed by over-cultivation that accounted for 28% while other factors constituted the remaining 7%.

Simultaneously, Europe suffered the largest loss of land productivity with around 23%, of which deforestation made up nearly one tenth. Over-cultivation and over-grazing took up relatively smaller percentages at 7.7% and 5.5% respectively. Meanwhile, the predominant cause of degradation of land in Oceania was over-grazing at approximately 11% out of a total of 13% while the other reasons had little impact. In North America, statistics for land degradation was lowest at 5%, mainly caused by over-cultivation with 3.3%.



dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 8, 2013   #2
The pie chart illustrates the main incentives why worldwide land was degradedaround the world

..."worldwide land" makes the latter redundant.

Overall, over-grazing was responsible for causing the majority of counterproductive agricultural land around the world

Likewise, the effects of three reasons varied considerably with Europe having the largest proportion of land degradation.

.... this is not wrong, but I wish you highlighted the fact that Europe recorded the highest contribution to land degradation in all three areas. This sentence does not reveal that very strongly.

Good job anyways ... as always ;)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: agricultural land becomes less productive; Worldwide land degradation
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳