Unanswered [19] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 3

Air pollution - protect the environment - write about air pollution and how to deal with it.

phuongthao0608 1 / 3  
Oct 5, 2021   #1


- protect the environment - write about air pollution and how to deal with it.

Air pollution is a serious problem, and it also is a common essay topic. I wrote about it and hope you'll help me with my essay. THANK YOU!

This is my work:
In the recent years, we have to face up to a serious problem: air pollution, which is predicted out of control in the future. It directly affects our lives. Air pollution occurs when the atmosphere contains gases, dust or fumes in harmful amount.

The pollution isn't natural, how it appeared? There are some causes. First, factories dump untreated heat, smog and sewage, waste into environment. Second, vehicles make exhaust and dust. Third, consumer and commercial products make landfills from its waste. Fourth, people burn trash and fossil fuel, it produces carbon dioxide. Finally, in agriculture, chemical substances (pesticide and herbicide), fire smoke and pollen can also be pollutants.

We are living in a big air tank. If the air is polluted, of course people are affected. Air pollution harm our respiratory systems, it leads to pneumonia, bronchitis, lung cancer or even the death. It changes the ecosystem, kills animals and botanical species. Air pollution contaminates water and soil, cause global warming and natural disaster.

We call for some solutions. Factories and transport must have exhaust treatment system. If people use electric public transport, cycle or walk, there'll be less poisonous fume. We ought to use environmentally-friendly products and renewable fuel, follow the 3Rs (reduce, reuse, recycle) and put out all the fire. We shouldn't use fireplace or wood stove for heating and cooking. And the most important action is plant more trees - our nature lungs.

Protect the environment is our crucial responsibility. It needs our hands. If each one of us, the small parts prevent air pollution from happening together, there'll be huge effects.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,749 3795  
Oct 8, 2021   #2
The first thing I noticed is how you are prone to using contractions, which is an informal method of writing. When writing an academic paper, use both words, spell it out because that is how academic tones are maintained. Follow the formal method of writing as academic papers are used in school presentations while word contractions are used mostly in informal, casual, and creative writing papers.

When writing a paper based on current or ongoing actions, use active descriptive word references ( protect = protecting). Thought clarity is also important. What did you mean when you wrote:

It needs our hands.

Are you sure that you did not mean : "It is in OUR hands " ? Your sentence does not offer a clear idea of what you wish to say.
OP phuongthao0608 1 / 3  
Oct 8, 2021   #3
Thank you so much for helping me! I am self-studying and my essay isn't read by any expert, so your advice is very helpful to me.

Home / Writing Feedback / Air pollution - protect the environment - write about air pollution and how to deal with it.