Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS Task 2 : Air travel should be controlled to save the earth.


tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 20, 2015   #1
Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world's fuel resources. What extent do you agree or disagree?

With the growth in aviation, the majority of people are more likely travelling abroad to spend their leisure time in the special occasions. One of the most tangible influences of this phenomenon is the exponential increase of thousand airlines which provide low-cost carrier, and it is argued as the trigger of environmental catastrophes on a global scale such as air pollution and lack of fossil fuel so that critics claim air travel should be controlled. While it is believed that air travel provides more benefits in terms of time consumed and reasonable prices, people also have to consider the negative side of this transportation on the natural ecology.

...
amytsai 2 / 3  
Apr 20, 2015   #2
With the growth in aviation, the majority of people are more likely travellingto travel abroad to spend their leisure time in the special occasions. One of the most tangible influences of this phenomenon is the exponential increase of thousand airlines which provide low-cost carrier, and it is argued as the trigger of environmental catastrophes on a global scale such as air pollution and lack of fossil fuel so that critics claim air travel should be controlled. While it is believed that air travel provides more benefits in terms of time consumed and reasonable prices, people also have to consider the negative side of this transportation on the natural ecology.

Supporters of the aircraft deliberate that air planes are by far the fastest mode of transport which connects the all of parts in the world by hours. Before the invention of aviation, people used ships to travel for trading and travelling in other countries , but it took more than a month to reach a destination. In 20th century, many counties choose this mean of transport to export food such as vegetables and fruits to places where theythe food are not in season or cannot be grown. For pragmatic instance, New Zealand exports fresh milk and apples to developing countries, such as Africa and India, using air planes only around 12 hours. Consequently, some food could be exported faster and would not deteriorate in the worldwide distribution.

In addition, over las decades, the availability of cheap air travels allows many holidaymakers going abroad for vacations over last decades . According to a survey published in the Times magazine , the proportion of travelers who prefer visiting other countries increasesincrease to around 70% in 2014, and it goes hand in hand with an increase of annual income of low-cost airlines which is more than 35% compared to previous year. Air travel leads people to get novelty of other challenged vacations .

On the other hand, the detrimental effects of this development are the impact on the environment. Firstly, a study records that there are more than hundred international and domestic flights which require more than thousand litters of fuel every day. As the time passed by, the natural environment is absorbed to produce more fuel while there is prevention as a result of this activity. In the linear relationship of this condition, burning of fossil fuel in terms of oil will add significantly to this problem as just one flight releases large amounts of carbon dioxide and other gases into the environment and damages the layer of ozone . As a result, the development of aviation contributes the biggest contribution of climate change as the global problem.

In conclusion, the development of air travel in the recent years has its own merits and demerits for environment. In the glance, air travel benefits people to commute between different regions sooner whereas people are blame for environmental influences which are more important issues so that the restriction should be implemented to reduce damages . From my perspective, using air travel for travelling should be controlled, and green taxes should be increased to control low-cost airline companies as a novel solution.

Green: the part I check for you
Blue: too many gramattical errors, better to revise by yourself
Red: illogical sentence

2 advices:
1.) improve your grammar
2) you seem like to write complex sentence, but rememember, writing complex sentence needs grammatical skills and sometimes the longer the sentence, the more confusing it is. Longer sentence is nice, but not always the best option! :)3) since green tax is your solution, i think it's better if you write more detail on it, or it will be abrupt

I think you would be better if you would improve your grammar, start from the basis, and you will do very well! :)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Air travel should be controlled to save the earth.