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Alaa Murabit, a young Muslim woman, highlights her experiences and participates in peace processes


MFES2016 5 / 6 2  
Sep 28, 2016   #1
Alaa Murabit was nominated to address the UN General Assembly including the Commission on the Status of Women, and was nominated to address the UN Secure she works to amplify the voices of women and to highlight experiences and participation in peace processes and conflict resolution, and she recognizes that the only way to ensure the full participation of women globally was by reclaiming religion.

As a young Muslim woman, she very proud of her faith. It gives her the strength and conviction to do her work every day. Initially, she focused on the economic and political empowerment of women. She thought that would lead to cultural and social change. In 2012 and 2013, her organization led the single largest and most widespread campaign in Libya. She entered homes and schools and universities, even mosques. She discussed taboo issues, like domestic violence. She spoke to 50,000 people directly, and hundreds of thousands more through television commercials, radio commercials, and posters.

rizaldohabibie 19 / 35  
Sep 28, 2016   #2
Hi..
I have some notice from your essay.

... and conflict resolution, and[.] and followed [linking word] she recognizes that the ...

>>you have a good grammar. the next step is to combine your grammar with linking verb.
for this case, the relevant words are: Therefore, Hence, because of.....

I hope it helps..
Fatirtalent 12 / 19  
Sep 28, 2016   #3
Dear my friend
You've done well, but there are little note from me

... the UN Secure, she works to amplify ...

... and social change. InBetween 2012 and 2013,
andika08 81 / 80 16  
Sep 28, 2016   #4
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... the UN Secure.sheShe works to amplify the voices of women andalsoto highlight experiences.andWhile, participation in peace processes and conflict resolution, and she recognizes that the only ...

It gives her the strength and conviction to ...
In 2012 and 2013, her organization led the single largest and most ...
She discussed taboo issues, likewhich aredomestic violence.

There is a repeated word, you can change the similar word. (and,she)
eve01 24 / 40 5  
Sep 28, 2016   #5
hi pandai ^^
i would like to note you some advises
hope it works

>> you can start a summary with introduction sentence such as >>> according to....(author last name)[.,. According to "Title of the Article" (year) etc..]

>>It gives her the strength and conviction to do her work every day everyday
.

>> She thought that it would lead to cultural and social change. Inbetween 2012 and 2013or you can use { from.... to....} , her organization led the single largest ...

She entered homes,and schools,and universities, evenand mosques.

>>She discussed about taboo issues,

hope it works ^.^
keep writing


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