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'From Albania to England' - personal and informative essay


nisa102 1 / 1  
Sep 20, 2007   #1
hello i'm new here n i need someone's help because i have to hand in a essay tomorrow and it will determine what level course i will have to do for english

i am not very good at writing essays and would really appreciate if some1 would check my essay for me =]

a personal and informative piece.

"I was born in Shengjin, Albania, a small town located in the North West coast part of Albania. But now I live in Barnsley, England. Shengjin is a holiday destination and every summer in July the town would be full of tourist, from different parts of Albania and other countries too. I grew up in that environment of sea, surrounded by marine life. The weather is amazing during the summer. It can get as hot as 35ï C but it gets pretty cold and windy during the winter. Even thought my town was a holiday destination and had everything most people wanted on their holiday, this was not the case for me and my family. We loved the beach but we were used to it and it did not feel like a holiday for us, so we would go to my granddad's farm house. It was beautiful there, it was the opposite of how Shengjin was, it was quiet, away from the buzzing city life.

When I was a child my life was quiet perfect. I went to a public school and was an outstanding student. I remember my weekends always being busy. I went to English and Italian courses on weekends and also was in the town's volleyball team. My parents always encouraged me to be in different courses because one day they would come in handy and I would thank them. Even though back then I didn't know what they meant and I dint always enjoy attending my classes I am glad I did because now I understand that by being involved in different activities has made me a who I am today. Open-minded, I don't judge people because I know that it's not my place to judge them, I am just like them a human being who has faults.

When I was 12 my parents told me that we would be moving to different country I was exited as well as upset. The idea of going somewhere with a different culture and somewhere I had never been before exited me but at the same time I was sad to be leaving all my family and friends behind and not knowing when I was to see them again.

When my family and I arrived in England almost 6 years ago I felt alone because I didn't know anything about the culture or the people. I was glad I knew the language a bit and I was able to communicate with people and interact easily.

I dint start school straight away as my parents thought it would be better if I was home schooled for a while so I could learn the language a bit better and also get used to my new life.

When I started school for the 1st time in England I thought I was going to be a outcast and that the other students wouldn't accept some one new to their school, but to the contrary every one was very friendly and they were all eager to get to know me better. I made a lot of friends very quickly, and I was doing well at school even though I struggled a bit with the language I still managed to pass my exams and get very good marks. As time went by I became a different person, more confident, realistic and independent.

But then as I approached year 10 my marks stared slipping as I started going out with friends more and not paying much attention in class. As school finished I realised that the past 2 years of school had been nothing and that I had wasted my school years. And I thought that it would be hard to get into the course I wanted to at college. So I decided that I was going to buckle down n study hard so I could change my life for the better.

I remembered something my English teacher told me "Anisa make the most of everyday ï don't waste your life and don't let others waste it for you." That saying inspired me to change my life and not let any one or anything get in the way of my studies. Now that I have started college I have realised that I can still study hard and still make time to have fun and go out with my friends as well as be involved in activities.

As I have grown up I have changed a lot I've become a stronger person and wiser, my taste in music and other things has changed. But I have managed to keep my family values. I will always remember where I come from and who I was and how my life changed for the better and then I made a few mistakes but I now have managed to fix and change my life for the better I intend to keep it this way and make it better each day.

During my life my parents have been my rock they have always supported me and helped me become who I am today."

Thank you
Nisa

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Sep 21, 2007   #2
Greetings!

I will help you with some editing suggestions, but if the idea for the essay is that your writing will reveal what the proper English placement level for you is, it would not be a good idea to substitute my word choices for yours; otherwise, you might end up in a course that is too difficult for you!

You have a typo here: Even thought my town was a holiday destination - should be "though"

When I was 12, [add comma] my parents told me that we would be moving to a different country.[period] I was excited as well as upset.

[delete "So"] I decided that I was going to buckle down and study hard so I could change my life for the better.

You use "dint" twice; the word you want is "didn't."

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP nisa102 1 / 1  
Sep 25, 2007   #3
thanx a lot
i really appreciate it

Anisa
dido 1 / 1  
Oct 4, 2007   #4
hi ani . i have a very good essay about your topic. i did it 2 years ago
EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Oct 5, 2007   #5
You may post it here if you like, if it has not been previously posted on another site. :-)

Sarah, EssayForum.com
TROF - / 1  
Nov 18, 2007   #6
2 dido

Hi
i'm looking for and about-myself-essay sample. u said u did it 2 yeras ago. so could u please send it to me, or post it in this topic.

my email is vitaliy_trofimenko

thnx
Vitalii


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