Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
In our contemporary world travelling has become easier and more popular. Some think that people from abroad must spend more than local visitors. However, I disagree with this statement. In the following paragraphs main sides of this attitude will be discussed.
First of all, almost all things and thoughts have both benefits and drawbacks. It is said that local visitors have more privileges than foreigners. Thus, this is not right way due to our general human principles. Such inappropriate laws can be judged as discrimination of strangers.
Moreover, nowadays it is difficult to attract people to museums or other cultural sights owing to advanced technologies. Hi-tech in twenty first century eclipsed our interests that used to be popular. So, with such new rules we can jeopardize haunting of cultural and historical places by tourists.
Furthermore, foreigners should have more rights and opportunities. Because they are potential introducers of our culture to their own nations. Our general impression partially depends on them. Well, we should be more accurate especially with prices in order to save reputation.
In conclusion, so many people, so many opinions. On one hand some people see more benefits, on the other others recognize drawbacks. We should be commonsense and think adequately. As it was noticed at the beginning anything has both advantages and disadvantages. Nevertheless, in some cases negatives more than positives or opposite. Only if right way is chosen, this problem can be solved.
(238 words)
Hello !
Well, personally, I think your essay is very good. You have strong opinions and novel ideas. However, I think there's only one thing you should change.
'' So many people, so many opinions '' can be changed : The more people, the more opinions are brought out.
Hope this helps.
Hi Bob brother!
The first question I have is about your thesis. You write, "this attitude will be discussed." Is your opinion that you offer previously an "attitude?" Do you think the word choices here are accurate? Furthermore, could you potentially combine these sentences into a single sentence that better expresses what you seem to want to say?
Paragraph II: Do you need to note that all things have drawbacks and benefits? How does this sentence help to link your thesis to the topic of the paragraph? Remember that topic sentences (the first sentence of the paragraph) should directly relate to the thesis AND to what you intend to write in the paragraph itself. Here you move on from your first sentence to talk, instead about discrimination? Could you more fully relate this idea in your topic sentence?
Paragraph III: How does the hi-tech world keep us from attracting people to museums and such? The answer to this question is left unclear in your essay as it stands.
Paragraph IV: If your first body paragraph is about discrimination, you might consider combining this paragraph with Par. I. Doing so would strengthen the organization of the overall essay. Remember to keep like ideas together.
In the conclusion you talk about good and bad, negatives and positives, etc... But you're not saying much. Could you instead share a precise example of why it's important that visitors pay the same as residents? Doing so would make the experience of your essay much stronger for the reader.
Good luck with your revision! EF_Season
