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"Aloha!" your on this island ! ( I want help about the Descriptive essay about Hawaii. )


lo0olo0o24 1 / -  
Mar 19, 2016   #1
Hello ..
I have prepared Descriptive essay about Hawaii.
I want help to emendation the sentences and grammar !
and that enough the description and expression?
please help me Before being Send to my teacher.!
thank you very much.
----
"Aloha!" your on this island !

The most isolated population center on the face of the earth , and There are eight main islands is a state like no other, born of volcanic fire and inhabited by some of the most exotic and unusual plants and animals in the world. Despite all this, one of the best places in world and to relax for Enjoy and feel-good holiday . In other words,Hawaii is the best destination for an adventurous family vacation, a romantic honeymoon, , and group holidays with friends. for a vacation filled with picturesque views. and When you go there that "Aloha!" it's means "hello."

The Hawaiian archipelago is located in the Central Pacific Ocean, the furthest from any landmass in the world. So it is a good place for calm , Some beaches are covered with black sand, formed when molten lava met the ocean. You will find that each island has a special place ; like Hilo town is also home to an array of museums, galleries, and performance venues where you can admire the work of local painters, sculptors, musicians, storytellers, and crafts people Wherever you go . or Waikiki Beach is the most famous and most beautiful beaches of the world , where she will meet the turquoise waters and white sand surrounded by coconut palms of each hand . it also has The Na Pali Coastline on Kauai island This coastal region isn't just one of the best places to visit in Hawaii, but it is also super rich in Hawaiian cultural history. In fact This area was home to Hawaiian Ali'i (royalty), and known for its lavishly flowing waterfalls and freshwater rivers, an abundance of Hawaiian flora and fauna, and an excess supply of natural food sources from valley to sea; taro, sweet potatoes, fresh fish and more.

When landing in Hawaii airport The image of Hawaiian lei greeters welcoming visitors with outstretched arms, holding beautiful flower leis, has become an iconic symbol of the Islands. In addition to you will not really know what to do! There are plenty of activities and adventures that can do in hawaii ,also the indigenous people exercising a lot of Occasions and concerts Daily ,You'll find each island has its own distinct personality and offers its own adventures, activities and sights. With deep-blue waters, a varied coastline and a mix of lava and white sand Of activities that can do Without a doubt the Snorkeling , The reef formation vibrantly colored reef, including sea turtles. When seas are calm, this is a great area for water exploring, just make sure you always wear shoes to protect from sharp coral. you will surely enjoy being an eye witness to the beauty of an array of Hawaiian marine life Just imagine how amazing it would be to see an abundance of tropical fish native to Pacific Ocean waters,In addition to the Sightseeing Everywhere your head turns you will see dramatic mountain ranges, turquoise and deep azure ocean scenes, tropical valleys, diverse landscapes and natural wonders. Moreover With so much to do during the day, nightlife on Hawaii Island continues to deliver adventure. You'll find everything from Hawaii Regional Cuisine in local restaurants to sunset cruises and live music in the resort areas of Historic Kailua Village and Keauhou in Kona and the Kohala Coast.

You walk in hawaii you will experience many sensations will immortalize in your memory in a lot of sights, smells and sounds, especially taste foods. for example you can see dance of Hawaii The Art of Hula When words fail, we turn to a more ancient art of communication to express the beauty of Hawaii, Hula is as much an expression of Hawaiian life in general as it is a spiritual language, you really enjoy watching it. In fact, there are many Sights in hawaii like you can create the most beautiful, everlasting vacation memories, Like a watercolor painting, (but with a cocktail in hand), you will surely become infused into the true beauty of the Magic Isle, From the sounds of rolling waves and live music to the scent of fresh sea air, Aboard a ocean vessel, you will see sunset that fades into the ocean and You'll be able to breathe deep and savor the sweet and salty fragrance of Hawaii's Pacific Ocean, feel calm ocean breezes against your back, And also there scents and aromas Will not miss the flowers look, in addition to the taste of fresh seafood and fruits.

To sum up, hawaii place deserve to go in the big holiday, it is a unique experience, I advise you to visit all the islands and see Scenic where can't you see in your country. Though the Hawaiian Islands are some of the most remote in the world, they are by no means isolated, hosting more than seven million visitors each year--nearly seven times more than the resident population. However , Each island has the activities and the special place ,of its own will not be enough described in one article. Moreover, It is a kind of magical journey that is great as a first experience for tourists and an escape from daily life for locals. Fortunately ,There is no snow in Hawaii only warm sun ,You will not need to carry a lot of winter clothes. finally In the Hawaiian Islands we say "Maika'i Pomaikai!'' mean " good luck".

aviniwirastri [Contributor] 10 / 35 11  
Mar 20, 2016   #2
The most isolated population center on the face of the earth , and There are eight main islands is a state like no other, born of volcanic fire and inhabited by some of the most exotic and unusual plants and animals in the world

when you write a sentence, pay attention to the subjects-verbs agreement. it is the most basic structure you need to know.
the most isolated population center, Hawaii has eight main islands and there is no state like that in the world. it is born by volcanic eruption and inhabited by some of the most exotic and unusual plants and animals in the world.

Despite all this, one of the best places in world and to relax for Enjoy and feel-good holiday.
you need a verb.
despite of this, it is one of the best places in the world to relax and to enjoy, also proper place to go on holiday.

In other words,Hawaii is the best destination for an adventurous family vacation, a romantic honeymoon, , and group holidays with friends.

for a vacation filled with picturesque views
no subject and verb

and When you go there that "Aloha!" it's means "hello."
the sentence is pretty confusing.
correction : it means

second paragraph :
i think you need to pay more attention to punctuation. you really need to make sure where you have to put period "." and comma ",".

if you do not put it properly, your sentences will be confusing.

When landing in Hawaii airport The image of Hawaiian lei greeters welcoming visitors with outstretched arms, holding beautiful flower leis, has become an iconic symbol of the Islands.

subjects and verbs are not clear and do not agree.
when landing in Hawaii airport, Hawaiian lei greeters, holding beautiful flower leis, will welcome visitors with outstretched arms. it has become a symbol of Hawaii.

In addition to you will not really know what to do! There are plenty of activities and adventures that you can do in Hawaii

With deep-blue waters, a varied coastline and a mix of lava and white sand Of activities that can do Without a doubt the Snorkeling , The reef formation vibrantly colored reef, including sea turtles .

you need a main verb.

When seas are calm, this is a great area for water exploring.......
you need to rearrange these sentences, with proper punctuation. what you describe is difficult to understand.

those all for the first three paragraph.
i hope what i comment will be useful.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Mar 21, 2016   #3
Hi, as I see that the first 3 paragraphs are corrected, I would like to help out on the 4th paragraph.

4th paragraph.

- YouAs you walk in
- H awaii ( don't forget to write the first letter of the country name in capital letter ) you will
- experience many sensations will be immortalize
- especially the taste of the foods .
- F or example
- you can see dance ofthe Hawaiian dance, The Art of Hula When words fail,
- you will really enjoy watching it.
- likeand you can create
- Likesuch as a watercolor painting,
- Aboard an ocean vessel,
- feel the calm ocean
- breezes against your back, a nd also

There you have it, as you can see, there are still a lot of work to be done in your essay, a lot of practice and what will help is a little reading and review on the English language rules, I see that the missing link are linking verbs, this makes the sentence complete and this is where the work has to be done.


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