Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves, and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil, and gas that we use to power out cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There is an assumption that the renewable energy from sun, wind and waves plants are more costly and difficult to build than fossil fuels for transportation and electricity use. Despite extra cost for the new technology, it would seem to me that they can bring more financial benefit due to the low maintenance cost.
It has been a common knowledge that initial cost for the alternative energy plant is higher than the conventional one. In order to generate energy, researchers need advanced research to find precise equipment size and technology. For instance, wind plant needs certain size and angle of turbine to be operated successfully. This kind of propeller cannot be found in the usual manufacturers so they have to produce it specially. It also need more than just one wind turbine to generate enough energy for even a house which means extra funding. The initial process clearly needs more allocation to manufacture new equipment and system.
However, once the plant is operated, much money will be save because of it needs less maintenance cost. When build a new energy plant or device, it is estimated to be functional for over than 10 years. The source for energy for alternative energy is abundance in the universe, so there is no need to spend more in searching it. One of the best examples is to buy a solar energized car or renown as hybrid car needs about three times more cash than petrol car. But, we can calculate for each kilometre, how much oil is needed? We can multiply it by the time we use that car. Then we will find greater number than buying a hybrid car. It is better to spend a bunch of money in the front than having invisible expenditures.
In short, I believe that alternative devices are only expensive and difficult at the beginning but bring more merits for the future. If we can use it with care, we can get not only financial benefits, but also for the environment.
Maya, previously I have given my best contributions towards your introduction and first body paragraph, then I am going to give you another feedback regarding to your second body and conclusion paragraph. You can see the corrections and detailed feedback that I have given you below:
- much more money will be save because of it needs less... (because + subject + verb | because of + noun / noun phrase)
- When buildbuilding a new energy...
- The source for energyenergy source for alternative...
- so there is no need toit is unnecessary to spend more money in searching it(it is better to make a good use of word formation, suffix and prefix)
- One of the best examples is to buy a solar energized car or renown as hybrid car. Thisneeds about three... (2 verbs, but missing connector)
- ButHowever , wepeople can calculate for each kilometre.. (Avoid personal pronoun in body paragraph and you should not use coordinating conjunction in the beginning of the sentence, this makes your essay become less formal)
- how much oil is needed?(making a question inside a body paragraph is inappropriate)
- Wepeople can multiply it by the time theywe use that (too many personal pronouns)
- Then, (comma needed)wethey will find greater.. (personal pronoun problem (again))
- I notice that your conclusion is also experiencing the same problem about over-use personal pronouns.
There you are Maya, I hope you mind the corrections and feedback that I have delivered to you in order to help you enhancing your writing skills in the future. My suggestion for your upcoming practice, please write a sentence that you are 100% sure it is correct if you want to earn flying colors in IELTS. This is because accurate simple sentence is still better than inaccurate complex sentence.
Good Luck for the next practice :)
