Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

American TV shows vs broadcast foreign films

ctk41 1 / -  
May 2, 2017   #1
Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

watching American tv shows in your home country

In recent decades, movies and TV series have been imported from other countries. Although some people believe foreign films and TV shows that affected many things in our lives, they also play an integral part in the development of every country.

There are a number of reasons why local films and shows benefit a culture. First, movies made by local people would help preserve the tradition and customs of their own culture. For instance, local programs such as Lunar New Year,..which reminds many young generations always remember the tradition of ethnic culture. Second, producing more local films will enrich the cultural library. For example, film production involves many aspects of life such as education, economics, business, etc,enhancing views on culture and communication skills.

On the other hand, imported movies and TV series bring a lot of advantages to a local culture. Firstly, when a country imported movies that are imported from overseas, it can help its people learn about other cultures in much easier and more effective way. In fact, it helps them broaden their own knowledge about different fields and communities through real experiences of people from other countries. Secondly, each individual can learn the good things from other civilized societies through their behavior and ways of working. For example, the habit of queuing is a beautiful habit in many Western countries, people can copy their action and apply this sort of knowledge in real life.

In conclusion, only focusing on producing local films and shows will do more harm than good. Local officials should also recognize the benefits of purchasing foreign movies on preserving their culture.

adambacon813 6 / 12 1  
May 2, 2017   #2

I think it should be Firstly

... young generationsalways remember the tradition ...

always --> of remembering. I don't think the expression way of this sentence is good enough though.

it can help its peoplelearn about

help its people to....
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
May 2, 2017   #3
Hi Itachi, I will give you a few suggestions. Hopefully, you can meet my notes and deal with them.
Firstly, If you wanna get a high score, you are supposed to show your position in the thesis statement. It is clear that the prompt asks you to give your opinion after you review both perspectives. That is essential in the writing task 2 because you will show what are elucidated in the body paragraphs. For body paragraphs, you have to add supporting ideas for your second reason in the first body. That seemed like layman's opinion because you only mentioned that. In the essay, you cannot display solely, but you have to expand that. Giving the supporting sentences is the primary requirement for building the good paragraph. Actually, you also did that in the second reason in the second body. Your score will be reduced by examiners because you seemed listing your ideas, not to explain deeply. Please, you improve that to achieve the high score.

For your grammar, you are free of major errors. However, you should harness connetive devices for making your flow smoother. That encourage readers to understand your essay easily.

Pay attention to your conclusion as well. You need to paraphrase your thesis statement if you wanna show the conclusion. In addition, you can include suggestions in this case to meet the requirement in creating the good pargraph. Keep in your mind that the good paragraph has at least three sentences.

I hope those suggestion can finalize your essay. GOOD LUCK

Home / Writing Feedback / American TV shows vs broadcast foreign films