Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 10

IELTS: Amount of control on media information


peterc 14 / 52  
Mar 31, 2012   #1
Some people believe that the media, such as the press, TV and internet should be more strictly controlled. Others feel that controls should be loosened to give people freer access to information. Which opinion do you agree with?

Nowadays, one of the most controversial issues related to mass media is the correct amount of control posed on newspapers, televisions and websites. It is argued that the government should exercise less restriction on sharing of media information to public. However, I strongly believe that it should increase the level of control to protect the public against inappropriate contents and unsuitable foreign cultures. 63

One of the strong arguments in favour of tighter media control is to limit the violent and sexual content. They have a serious impact on people in their puberty. For example, an internet cartoon comedy called happy tree is extremely brutal, where the characters usually have their heads or limbs tear off. Another supporting reason is that television companies import foreign programmes from time to time and audiences might accept their ideas which maybe otherwise not welcomed to local culture. A few years ago there was a Japanese game show which involved throwing cream cakes to the loser. This is actually very environmentally unfriendly. 104

The major opposing argument is to protect the safety of citizens. In other words, the government should disclose the information to the media in a timely manner, especially for disasters and outbreak of new diseases. Taking the SARS in 2003 as an example, the Chinese government limited the amount of information for public access which therefore causes numerous deaths. Even so, another perspective on this is to prevent the citizen from unnecessary fear and unrest. 75

Both sides of the arguments have its merits. My personal view is that despite the emphasis of citizen safety, the government should regulate the correct amount of violent and sexual content and censor the culturally unsuitable information. Setting up a council to monitor the media information to the public could be a practical idea. 54

P.S. I am new to this forum and I am an Asian with English as my second language. I appreciate much for any advice on the essay in advance. Thank you!!

OP peterc 14 / 52  
Apr 2, 2012   #2
Please help give opinion on this essay...I am not sure if it is good or not as my english is not very good...thank you very much!!!
kimuratakuya 10 / 32  
Apr 2, 2012   #3
Personally, I think your evidence do not strongly support your position. For example,you have argued that the sexual andviolent contents have negative effect , then your evidence should tell how it influences local people rather than just introduce the TV programme.
OP peterc 14 / 52  
Apr 6, 2012   #4
Dear kimuratakuya,

Thank you for your opinion, it is really helpful as I should relate my ideas to local people...below is my corrected paragraph. Would it be better?

One of the strong arguments in favour of tighter media control is to limit the violent and sexual content. They have a serious impact on people in their puberty. For example, a newly published free local newspaper called Sharp Daily features a lot of obscene contents. It always shows disgusting pictures like some erotic photo shoots from models, apparently unsuitable to teengagers. Another supporting reason is that television companies import foreign programmes with incorrect social values. A few years ago there was a Japanese game show which involved throwing cream cakes to the loser. This is actually very environmentally unfriendly. 99
kimuratakuya 10 / 32  
Apr 6, 2012   #5
I can just change your logic.
Firstly, tight media controll can decrease the amount of adolescense crimes. In order to profit more, some media often produce inappropriate contents, mostly concerned with sex and violence. For example, Sharp Daily, a newly published local newspaper, shows disgusting pictures like some erotic photo shoots from models, thus increasing the amount of its audience tremendously. However, such contents may drive adolescents, who are invulnerable to the tempt of sex and violence, to the crime. ( then you can give, or even fabricate some data to support this) So, we can infer that tight media control on media containing oblescent contents could in some degree keep adolescence from crimes.
OP peterc 14 / 52  
Apr 7, 2012   #6
Dear kimuratakuya,

I really appreciate very much for your correction. It seems much more "lively" and would help improve my way to organise my essay. However, I am afraid that making up statistics to support my example would otherwise affect the marks, as only 40 minutes is given to this essay and I am not confident on whether the data would be exaggerated and thus depress the marker ....

Besides, you took away the second point in this paragraph. So, is it enough to support one side of argument by 1 example only? I read some websites and some suggest 1 idea for a side, some suggest 2. Which one do you agree?

Thank you!!
kimuratakuya 10 / 32  
Apr 7, 2012   #7
i think it all depends on your ability to use examples to support yourself. Both are ok.
basawang 10 / 76  
Apr 7, 2012   #8
Hi,

I may not write as well as you guys do. However, one thing I know about writing is that writers should not fake any examples or statistics, which is a despicable folly.

Sincerely,
menukagrg 7 / 98  
Apr 7, 2012   #9
The ending looks a bit unfinished. Good luck with your essay. It's a very nice try. You do not have to put statistics but if you know some, then it wouldn't hurt to include them in your essay. English is also my second language. So don't worry, i can tell, you have a very good commad of English. :) Keep it up.
OP peterc 14 / 52  
Apr 8, 2012   #10
Hi menukagrg,

Thank you for your help, It is very valuable!!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: Amount of control on media information