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The amount of leisure time of working men and women - IELTS graph


manman 1 / -  
Sep 6, 2011   #1
I am preparing to take the IELTS exam but I am not sure that my writing is correct enough.
This site make a great opportunity to improve my writing skills

Please help me correct my essay, Thanks.

IELTS Writing Task 1
Cambridge 2 Test 2

The graph shows the leisure time in a typical week enjoyed by sex, compared with employment status during the period of 1998 - 1999.

For full-time employment people, the amount of leisure time of men is higher than women. Men have the recreation time at above 40 hours a week while women have time less than 40 hours. However, part-time employed females have the recreation time at 40 hours within a week which is more than women who have full-time occupations slightly. Moreover, housewives have the recreation time at 50 hours roughly, which more than the full-time employed men.

The greatest amount of leisure time of each sex belongs to an unemployed status and a retired status, both men and women. To illustrate, both unemployed men and retired men have the leisure time at above 80 hours and also both statuses of females enjoy their leisure time at 75 hours approximately.

According to the chart, it seems that women have the recreation time less than men reflecting the housekeeping works which are commonly relied on females.


  • Cambridge 2 Test 2 Task 1

bangshws - / 2  
Sep 6, 2011   #2
1) compared to
NOT compared with

Look at this: studyhorror.com/questions/difference-between-compare-to-and-compare-with/23

2)women have the recreation time less than men reflecting => women have the recreation time less than men do which reflects
EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Sep 15, 2011   #3
The graph shows the leisure time in a typical week enjoyed by each sex, compared with employment status during the period of 1998 - 1999.

For full-time employmentpeople employed full time , the amount of leisure time of men is higher than women.

However, females who were employed part-time have the recreation time at 40 hours within a week which is more than women who have full-time occupations, slightly.

According to the chart, it seems that women have the recreation time less than men reflecting the housekeeping works for whichfemales are commonly relied on to do.are commonly relied on females.

:)


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