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The amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in grams - the line graph


thutyedaniel 32 / 38 17  
Apr 11, 2015   #1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The line graph illustrates the amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in grams.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the consumption of Spreads, including Margarine and Butter from 1981 to 2007. The quantity is measured in grams. At first glance it is evident that there was a significant fall in the consumption of Margarine and Butter, but the consumption of Low fat and reduced spreads saw a dramatic increase.

...



justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 11, 2015   #2
Hi,

Kindly find my help for the task below;

The line graph illustrates the consumption of Spreads(, - PUNCTUATION MARK TO DELETE) including Margarine and Butter from 1981 to 2007. The quantity is measured in grams. At first glance it is evident that there was a significant fall in the consumption of Margarine and Butter, but the consumption of Low fat and reduced spreads saw a dramatic increase.

To begin, in 1981, the consumption of Butter stood at approximately 142 gram(GRAMS) and reaching a peak at 160 gram(GRAMS) in 1986, then experienced dramatic fall at some 45 gram(GRAMS) over the year. Also, Margarine('s - DELETE AS YOU ARE PERTAINING TO A PRODUCT NOT A PERSON) consumption stood at around 85 gram(GRAMS) in the first year. Then, there was a significant (decrease and then rose - DELETE AND REPLACE WITH, "fluctuation") suddenly in 1986 at 100 gram(GRAMS), and remained constant over the (NEXT) five years. In 2001, (WE) saw sharp decrease at approximately 82 gram(GRAMS), and the end of period at 40 gram(GRAMS) in 2007.

Moving to a more detailed analysis from the line chart shows that the consumption of Low fat and reduced spreads increased slightly from 1996 to 2001 at approximately 81 gram(GRAMS), but fell significantly at around 65 gram(GRAMS) over this 5-year period.

Daniel, your analysis of the graph is quiet accurate, I just have a few notes for you;

> punctuation marks, units of measure and proof read before sending your task.

Cheers!!!
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Apr 11, 2015   #3
1) 2nd paragraph:
-Are the 160 grams an approximation of the increase in the use of butter? It's not on the line by about 1 gram. However, if you compare the statistics on margarine you can see that the consumption rates are directly on the line.

-I think you can state the date 2007 in your summary when you refer to the dramatic decrease in butter. (This is a great observation to make!)

-I think margarine was closer to 90 grams because there are 20 grams that separate 80 and 100. The point looks like it is in the middle.

-I pondered over how to change this next sentence. You could change it by making two sentences. You could say, "Then the number of grams decreased after the first year." And start the next sentence with [However,] they rose suddenly... (Did you mean that in 1991, it rose to 100 grams?)

-Good observation in the last sentence! Just add "there was a" before sharp or phrase it in a way that makes the sentence complete.

2)I would make margarine, butter, and low fat spreads lower case in these paragraphs. I don't think you need to capitalize them.

3)Also, I would like to commend you for your writing ability and the observations you made in 20 minutes. Your thoughts were organized. Good Job!
Windachan 13 / 18 5  
Apr 12, 2015   #4
The line graph illustrates the consumption of Spreads, including Margarine and Butter from 1981 to 2007. The quantity is measured in gramsI think it is better to involve this sentences to first sentence "and is measured in grams". . At first glance it is evident that there was a significant fall in the consumption of Margarine and Butter, but the consumption of Low fat and reduced spreads saw a dramatic increase.You should make at least 2 sentence for overview.

Moving to a more detailed analysisI think, this sentence is more suitable with advanced writing and advanced vocabulary from the line chart shows that the consumption of Low fat and reduced spreads increased slightly from 1996 to 2001 at approximately 81 gram(GRAMS), but it fell significantly at around 65 gram(GRAMS) over this 5-year period.


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