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The amounts of meat, salt, and fish consumed in China, starting from 1985 to 2010


Aris05 31 / 24 1  
Sep 13, 2016   #1
Writing task 1 : Food Consumption in China

The line chart compares the amounts of meat, salt, and fish consumed in China, starting from 1985 to 2010. It can be clearly seen that the fish consumption numbers were much higher than other foods.

The fish became the most popular food in China as long as 25 years. The figure of fish consumption always grew even bigger in every year, with rare exception between 1990 and 1995 where the consumption rate drastically pulnged until 100 grams per person in each week. Thereafter the number of meat consumption rapidly increased to 900 grams in 2010.

In 1985, The consumption of salt reached about 490 grams. Afterwards the number of salt consumption always gradually declined and reached the lowest figure in 2010 (200 grams) . On the other hand, the meat consumption had the lowest figure in 1985 (100 gram). Nevertheless, people consuming the meat constantly went up time by time and recorded the biggest number of meat consumption in 2010 where it achieved 200 grams.


  • the line chart
fadhilmd25 41 / 75 11  
Sep 13, 2016   #2
Dear Aris, here are some advices for you:
the thesis statement is clear, the summary also can picture half of the graphic
the tenses form also exactly placed, but need more complex in paragraph two
the use of exact numbers also good to distinguish it
Thank you
kiki23 37 / 64 4  
Sep 14, 2016   #3
Hi! Here some advice for you!

The figure of fish consumption always grew even bigger (IS GETTING BIGGER) in every year
In 1985, (the) consumption of salt reached ...
David54 15 / 22 1  
Sep 14, 2016   #4
Aris,

Just a little correction,
...the consumption rate drastically pulngeddramatically plungeduntil to 100 grams per person ...
...Afterwards the number of salt consumption always gradually declined...
... of meat consumption in 2010 where it was achieved at 200 grams.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Sep 15, 2016   #5
The line chart compares the amounts of meat, salt, and fish ...

This is good, but still needs more rooms for improvement. If I were you, then I'd like to swap such a sentence into a passive form as like a report writing is developed in general.

It can be clearly seen that the fish consumption numbers ...

The main objective of the overview is to reveal the main trends of the graph constructed in 2 sentences.

the number of meat consumption

This is grammatically incorrect. WRITE the amount, instead of the number

1990 and 1995 where

WHERE refers to a place while WHEN shows a time.

On the other hand,

Nevertheless,

overusing cohesive devices/ linking words has points deducted.

the biggest

This word is inappropriate in IELTS task 1.

I suggest reading sample answer as many as you can. This helps you improve grammar, vocabulary and grouping skills in particular IELTS writing report. Hope this helps :D


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