Unanswered [1] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

TOEFL: 'ancient people lived a natural life' - Now it's easier to maintain health


StevenKuang 2 / - 1  
Jul 30, 2014   #1
It is commonly thought that our society had dramatically changed by modern science and technology, and human had made extraordinary progress in knowledge of medical science over the recent decades. However, some people even scholars are arguing about if modern people can maintain health easier compare to ancient people. In my submission, modern people are much defensive about disease.

Modern medical techniques refine on those of the pass. We, modern people, own cutting-edge technology and a myriad of medical devices, like electronic microscopic and bio-analyzer, which drastically increase people's defensiveness. In the past, according to our history book, Spanishlady, an influenza attacked America from 1918 to 1919, killed about 50 million in one year. This kind of disease can only lead to fever, headache and sore throat. This influenza with such simple symptom could cause substantial amount of death; the tragedy mainly resulted from the undeveloped medical techniques at that time.

Furthermore, modern people enjoys a better quality life, a smarter life. Personal experiences lead me to conclude that it's undoubtedly true. With the help of smartphone, I am able to use APPs to form a diagram which demonstrated my sleeping quality. If I had nightmare yesterday night, which ruined my night sleep and waked me up, my phone can play some soft music to help me get rid of insomnia. In the next day, my phone will tell me how much "sleep debt" I'm owing even remind me to take a nap during the noon. These all attribute to my healthy life, which also beyond ancient people's imagination.

Additionally, the food we eat nowadays is way better than the ancient one. As a modern people, we drink boiled clean water, while ancient people drunk water from the river or the well; we cleanse and ripen our food by using oven and bio-clean cooker, while ancient people applied only fire and rough cooker. They even ate uncooked meat. Indisputably, modern foods overweighs ancient foods in several aspects, including taste and cleanliness. These all helps us to maintain our health.

Although the commonly-accepted assumption is ancient people lived a natural life, for examples, their food had no DDT and they are less pressured; but, current investigation demonstrates that among all the people who think ancient life is healthier, only 5% of them really want to abandon their current life routine and life like an ancient people. This result is actually not astonishing to me, and it proves that modern life can provide people with a better health condition.

Generally, I believe that modern people is easier to maintain health.

Hiruni 3 / 14 3  
Jul 31, 2014   #2
Lovely essay, :) but here are some mistakes i saw.

" Furthermore, modern people enjoysenjoy a better quality life "

"They even ate uncooked meat. Indisputably, modern foods overweighsoverweigh ancient foods in several aspects

"If I had nightmare yesterday night," a nightmare or nightmares

" ,my phone will tell me how much "sleep debt" I'm owingI owe even remind me to take a nap during the noon
dumi 1 / 6,948 1592  
Jul 31, 2014   #3
However, some people even scholars are arguing about ifwhether modern people can maintain a good health easier compared to ancient people. In my submissionview, modern people are muchmore defensive about contracting diseases.

Well, by saying that modern people are more defensive about contracting diseases, you don't answer the question properly. It is about whether maintaining health is easier now or not. You need to express your view on that point.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: 'ancient people lived a natural life' - Now it's easier to maintain health