Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7


"Don't be angry" valuble piece of advice my father once gave me.


Zubaida 18 / 34  
Oct 2, 2010   #1
Write a one-page composition (double spaced) describing a valuable piece of advice someone once gave you. Use direct quotations to set off the quotation containing the advice and indicate the identity of the speaker

Do Not Be Angry.



"Don't be angry, don't be angry and don't be angry," said my father when he saw me and my sister playing with toys and she wanted to have my own toy. As I refuse to give it, we involved in a jangle. He continued, "Be patient, so we can find a proper solution for both of you." Many years later, I found how much valuable this advice was. I avoid (which form is correct? avid or avoided) many problems and harmful consequences by controlling my anger and improving anger management skills.

Though anger can be positive, uncontrolled anger usually leads to harmful consequences because it makes people behave unconsciously. "No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched," said George Jean Nathan. That is why domestic violence, child abuse, physical assault, and even murder are mostly result (which is correct? result or results) of anger. Anger has negative influence on health, relationships, and children. Chronic, high levels of anger are associated with an increased risk for health problems.Ffurthermore, frequent and intense outbursts, whether verbal or physical, can destroy marriages, break apart families, and ruin friendships. "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret". The impact of intense anger on children, their feelings, and their personalities can be devastating.

No matter that we are angry, but the matter is how we can control our anger (which is better? we or you) . Such important tips should be taken to manage the anger effectively and make it positive. First, change your situation and take a deep breath to relax your body and clear your mind. Second, take a personal-time out to modify your thoughts and replace your angry images with a happy and peaceful one. Another way is applying self-talk technique; it is an inner dialogue in which you say phrases to yourself such as: "Serenity Now" to shift your feelings from anger to relaxation, so you can behave positively. Finally, always remember what Aristotle said: "Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not easy." Absolutely, it is easy if you train to control your anger and master anger management skills.
ecmagalhaes 4 / 10  
Oct 2, 2010   #2
hello Zubaida.

you have a great essay with good words, the reader can see a sequence in your essat. well done.

By your doubts: 1 - avoided
2 - results
3 - i think that "you " is a better choice

good luck
asokapalama 3 / 18  
Oct 3, 2010   #3
It is nice to read your essay. It a valuable advise. I like to make some statements in respect of your topic. Congratulations.

Getting angry is a spontaneous and normal reaction for human beings. Important thing is how you behave when you are in angry. People with strong personalities seem to manage angry properly. They are not easily disturbed when a person is attack physically or verbally. Usually with maturity people are learning to control angry up to some extend.

Asoka
dtth 2 / 4  
Oct 3, 2010   #4
Hi Zubaida,
Your essay is really a helpful with respect to me. I like it.
About your last question, I think "we" is better, because if you use "you", readers may think that you point at them directly
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 6, 2010   #5
You were writing in the past tense, so use "avoided."
I avoided many problems and harmful consequences by controlling my anger and improving my anger management skills.

That is why domestic violence, child abuse, physical assault, and even murder are mostly results of anger.

I think "We" is better. "You" is preachy, but "we" is humble.

:-)
edyshizzle 1 / 4  
Oct 6, 2010   #6
Hi Z,
I think the essay is wonderful and covers the topic adequately. However, you could improve the essay by relating clearly the practically of your father's advice in your life. Also, correct on tense and if possible use active first person voice. All the best.
anhduy_tran 2 / 3  
Oct 6, 2010   #7
hi Zubaida,
with many advices above, i have nothing to commend about your essay but that you have written a good one.

your method to control angry is really useful for me, and it works !

Finally,it'll be better if you give more examples from your own experiences about your father's useful advice.

great work!
thanks.


Home / Writing Feedback / "Don't be angry" valuble piece of advice my father once gave me.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳