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IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - ANIMAL ADOPTIONS


thaole181 1 / 1  
Mar 3, 2019   #1

adopting animals from a rescue center



Data related to animals adopted from an animal rescue center in Madison, Wicousin between 1990 and 2000 is revealed in the diagram. Overall, there is a significant change in the number of dogs and cats whereas the number of Birds and Reptiles has small fluctuation.

As the graph shows, Dogs and Cats shared the firts rank with each other. The figures of dogs decreased dramatically. They reached their peak during ten year period in 1990, around 560 adoptions. Dog adoptions drop to 480 in 1992, continue to drop until 1998 and remain stable in 2000. Besides, the number of cats increased considerably. From 320 adoptions in 1990, there is a doubling in their numbers ten years later, around 640 adoptions.

On the other hand, there's almost a levelling off at Birds and Reptiles adoptions. Over ten years, they keep to be ranked at the last and their figures is around 100 adoptions.The number of Birds and Reptiles in 1990 is about 110 adoptions which is the same as that in 1996. Not long afterwards, the figures turn to exactly 100 adoptions.




Holt - / 7,546 2001  
Mar 4, 2019   #2
Le, you are short of the required 4 paragraph presentation for the Task 1 essay even though you wrote more than the minimum 150 word requirement. That is because you failed to properly represent the comparison information with regards to the chart information. You also failed to properly identify the type of chart provided in the summary overview. This is not a diagram but a bar chart. You have to be accurate when it comes to identifying information in your essay otherwise you could lose points with regards to C&C considerations.

Since numerical data was provided throughout the essay, you should have constantly quoted the information from the chart. Do not use assumptions or implied information when there is factual data to consider, that creates a less informative presentation for the examiner to consider. Since this is an analytical report, you need to use all the available information in your presentation otherwise, it can affect your C&C score yet again.

Your LR score will suffer due to your carelessness when it comes to spelling. Always double check your spelling before submitting your work, wrong spelling will result in LR deductions for you. You misspelled Wisconsin in this essay which is unforgivable considering that the name of the state was actually spelled for you in the chart. This clearly shows how little to studied the chart and how you could care less about the accuracy of your writing. If you want to pass this test, then mind the way that you write. Every mistakes counts towards a failing score.

Your GRA could well be placed in a bad situation as well because you use contractions in a formal writing setting. Never use contractions unless you are writing an informal paper. In this instance, do not use short cuts when spelling, always spell it out.
OP thaole181 1 / 1  
Mar 5, 2019   #3
Thanks a lot Ms Rose. I'm very grateful when receiving your feedback. I will be more careful and try my best next time .


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