Thank you for taking the time to read my essay. I am going to take the IELTS exam next month so your recommendations are appreciated :)
Animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines
Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
It is considered by some that medical tests on animals have to be forbidden while there are others who think that this kind of experiment brings a lot of achievements for humankind. In my opinion, I believe that medical research is essential for civilization development but there are must be some restrictions for moral principles.
On the one hand, people think that there are many benefits that the scientist can receive from this. One of the main advantages that is the scientists will find more methods for disease prevention. To avoid some side-effects when using on humans, they have to do trial patterns on the animals. Hence, they can complete the vaccine and some kinds of drug which help the world can fight against global pandemics. For example, the explosion of influenza H1N1 in 2009 claim millions of lives and without the vaccine, the human has to suffer heavier losses.
On the other hand, we have to consider the fact that humankind has done myriad cruel experiments on innocent animals. We all forgot that animals also have their emotion, they can feel the pain from the experiments caused by humans. The vast of tested animals dead, the others face up with serious health problems. These partly reflect the dark side in humans, to achieve the goal, some people willing to give up humanity. For instance, there was a psychological experiment on baby monkey in 1960 which was critically protested by the society about their cruelty when the babies were kept in tiny metal boxes for up to a year. This kind of experiment is supposed to be immoral and inhuman.
In conclusion, although experiments on animals can promote our medical achievements, indiscriminate testing on animals is unacceptable. As a result, the government needs to control this problem throughout some moral principles for animal experiment activities.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 You almost got the 4 paragraph presentation for this discussion correct. There are 2 errors in the presentation that you used:
- The lack of genderless pronoun usage to refer to the public discussion point of view
- The lack personal opinion starting in the middle of the paragraph discussion. It should be presented by using the first person pronoun presentation in the paragraph
Basically, the format goes like this:
Sentence 1: Your point of view
Sentence 2: The reason for your point of view
Sentence 3: The reason why your point of view disagrees / agrees with the public point of view
Sentence 4: An example of why the public point of view is wrong / right
Sentence 5: A transition sentence or a final reason why the public point of view is right / wrong.
This format can be used for the 2 discussion paragraphs. Remember, you cannot just say "my point of view is" without offering supporting discussions to prove your point. That is why I am suggesting you use the format above next time. It is important to build upon your opinion in the presentation using the given the given reasons. In this case, you only presented a general discussion, without clearly indicating whose opinion is being discussed, why, and what your personal opinion is.
The pronouns are a major consideration in this instance because of the GRA requirements. You have to show that you know how to present opinions using proper person reference points as a part of your grammar range and accuracy. When you present general discussions without pronoun usage, you limit your scoring ability in that section.
