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IELTS task 2: animal experiments should be conducted or not ?

thaonguyen105 1 / -  
Jul 1, 2018   #1
Task 2: Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Products tested on animals

The question of whether medicines and other products should be tested by animal experiments or not remains a source of controversy.Many people accept that continuing to conduct these trials will be the best way to guarantee the safety for humans, whereas others believe that these experiments should be banned because of the survivals of animals.

On the one hand, it would be benifical for humans to carry out the animal experiments.Firstly, by doing these trials, scientists could test the drugs'effectivenesses and safety and also find the faults before putting to use in humans. Secondly, although it might be wrong with the lives of animals, if there will be some mistakes in medicines and other products, these experiments will prevent humans from the faults.In this case, people should raise their lives to the top.

On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why people shoud prohibit the animal experiments. First, if scientist test the new medicines to protect human life, the survivals of all animals need also be respected and saved. Futhermore, the results of there trials are not completely true, it could not guarantee that the medicines which are safe for animals will be good for humans. Animals will likely die though not bring good results, so people should not do the animal trials.

In conclusion, it seems evident that conducting the animal experiments is the best way to protect humans until scientists find the alternative methods.

Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Jul 2, 2018   #2
Mguyen, rather than using the term controversy, you should the term "debate" since the keyword in the prompt is "argue". The topic is already known to be controversial but that is not the point of the discussion. The topic centers on the "argument" regarding the use of animals in experiments. Therefore, the appropriate words to use would be either debate or argument.

In order to create a more coherent and cohesive paragraph, avoid counting out the reasons in a single paragraph. Instead, just offer a continuous discussion of the reasons since they are interconnected in terms of discussion. Counting the reasons out signify 2 separate discussions which then would need 2 separate paragraph presentations.

This essay has an effective public reasoning line of discussion for both points of view. That is the good part of your work. The bad part? You forgot that the prompt was asking you to discuss your personal point of view as well. Since that is missing from the discussion, you will only be scored on a partial basis rather than being given full points consideration. Remember to always double check the prompt before submission to make sure that you did not forget to discuss any important part of the essay such as your personal point of view or opinion.

Your opening and concluding paragraphs both suffer from a lack of required sentences. The requirement is between 3-5 sentences and both should be a paraphrase of the given discussion. For the opening paragraph, that is a representation of the original prompt. For the conclusion, it is a summary of the given discussion and a restatement of the thesis statement.
Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
Jul 2, 2018   #3
Hi Nguyen, I noticed that the words 'animal experiments' have been used throughout the essay. Maybe you should try to think of alternative substitutions, such as lab animals, or test on experimental animals etc.

Also, you hadn't expanded the reasons long enough before you jumped to another reason.
if scientist test the new medicines to protect ...
This sentence you are unable to tell me why those animals should be respected and saved when the experiments for medicinal purposes are to protect human lives.

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