Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Animal experiments to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products

sandyhsu 3 / 5  
Jun 23, 2019   #1
Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Controversy of Animal Testing

It has been argued for years whether animal experiments are beneficial to humanity or if it is unacceptable that animals will suffer pains from it. In my opinion, I firmly believe that we should limit animal testing and try to use more humane tests as alternative methods.

On the one hand, it is true that animal testing made a major contribution to the drug invention. There are more similar living systems to human beings which are easier to obtain the biochemistry data and predict the toxicity of the drug. However, with the advent of well-developed technology, we can also use cell-based tests and establish a online human-liked module to access a great amount of information as well as predict the patterns. For example, IBM Watson is an AI-based platform which can help scientist to predict the efficiency of the drug by collecting a substantial number of clinical databases and calculating the possibility of the treatment via artificial intelligence, which not only can reduce the demand of animal testing but also can obtain the data efficiently.

On the other hand, animals were usually subjected to force feeding, food and water deprivation and prolonged period of physical restraint which were considered as inhumane and unacceptable. we should not overlook the lives of animals because I believe that every creature has their own values and cannot be used as a tool for any purposes. In addition, animal testing is not always accurate enough and sometimes it will be unavailable to human beings due to the complex organism of human body.

To conclude, it is inevitable that scientists test on animals for medical purposes, however, we can figure out an alternatives to it as the technology has become much more advance than ever, then, animals do not have to lose their lives and suffer pains anymore.

Katherine_Tu1101 3 / 5 3  
Jun 23, 2019   #2

Overall, this is literally an informative essay. You clarify your position and discuss its pros and cons completely.
Here's my little advice for the topic sentence in the second paragraph: you can use phrases/words like undoubtedly, generally speaking, to be honest, frankly instead of on the one hand.

Best of luck.
Maria - / 1,099 389  
Jun 23, 2019   #3
Hi there!

Welcome to the forum. I'm going to try my best to assist you in this essay through providing an extensive feedback.

First and foremost, try to evade the usage of words or lines that are unnecessary to adding depth to your sentences. Focus more on adding more structure and creating more dynamism in your writing - this will help you incorporate techniques that are focused on compressing all your thoughts into smaller chunks of text. Remember that when you're working within word counts, you are confined and should always prioritize the information that you want to showcase more.

Having said that, observe this revision:

There are more similar ... beings which that are easier to obtain the biochemistry ... However, ... use cell-based tests, creating human-like modules to access predictable patterns. and establish ... the patterns.

While in the beginning of the text, it was alright for you to articulate your opinion and stance, you should evade this pattern of writing on the latter portions - especially if you are attempting to establishing long-form information for your content.

Best of luck as always!

Home / Writing Feedback / Animal experiments to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products