Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7

IELTS: animal experiments & animal rights


StarSea 4 / 10  
May 13, 2014   #1
Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

=======================================================================================

Nowadays, animal tests are extensively used for medicine testing and others fields. It is still unanswered whether the use of animals for human advantages is ethically valid. I believe that a limited amount of such experiments should be carried out.

On the one hand, there are three main reasons why animal activists are against animal tests. Firstly, the benefits of scientific research using animals do not justify the suffering and even death caused consequently. Secondly, animals do not deserve to be owned as pets or be treated as experimental subjects as they are innocent beings living on this planet in the same way as we do. Instead, they bear moral rights and they should be treated with respect by human beings. Finally, a technology or product verified by animal tests does not imply the safety on humans as different experimental subjects would lead to totally different results. Moreover, there are various alternatives to do researches without animal subjects. For example, computer simulation is one of such powerful measures that can offer the feasibility to carry out experiments effectively and repeatedly.

On the other hand, those experiment promoters may support animal tests for several reasons. Firstly, they argue that compared to animal rights, the development of medical services and social welfare should be given more importance. For example, each year, thousands of lives have been reported to be saved from fatal diseases by means of advanced medical technologies where animal tests were involved. Secondly, animal tests are extensively applied in most of the scientific researches and technology invention which even may considerably benefit those who are against those experiments. Finally, there are ongoing projects which endeavor to minimize the suffering that animals experience during the tests.

In summary, several measures should be used to guarantee that animal tests are morally acceptable. Otherwise, we would lose our sense of morality and sense of justice.

==================================================================================

Please focus on grammatical error plz. My gramma is quite weak especially preposition. Thanks in advance !

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 14, 2014   #2
Very good intro. You follow a very good approach, good grammar and vocabulary and impressive presentation :)

In summary, several measures should be used to guarantee that animal tests are morally acceptable. Otherwise, we would lose our sense of morality and sense of justice.

.... I wish your conclusion was more inclined towards your opinion on the issue which is ;

I believe that a limited amount of such experiments should be carried out.

Overall, great writing. This is a very good essay and with this level of writing, you would surely aim at a very good band at IELTS :)
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
May 14, 2014   #3
On the other hand, those experiment promoterswho promote such experiments domay support the idea of animal teststesting for several reasons. FirstlyFirst, they argue that compared to animal rights, the development of medical services and social welfare should be given more importance in contrast to the rights of animals .

Overall, great writing. This is a very good essay and with this level of writing, you would surely aim at a very good band at IELTS :)

I completely agree :) You display excellent writing skills :)
OP StarSea 4 / 10  
May 15, 2014   #4
dumi, thanks for the correction.

pahah, thanks for the positive comments, it encourages me a lot :)

it is quite inappropriate to write the introduction and the conclusion like that.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 15, 2014   #5
it is quite inappropriate to write the introduction and the conclusion like that.

What do you mean by this? Do you mean my suggestion on your intro and the conclusion were inappropriate? If you think so, I would like to know your points because they would help me understand whether I am advising people in the right direction. I hope you would explain why you feel so, if my suggestion were inappropriate. I am requesting you to do that in a positive spirit with curiosity to know why you think so :)
OP StarSea 4 / 10  
May 16, 2014   #6
What do you mean by this? Do you mean my suggestion on your intro and the conclusion were inappropriate?

be easy, dude. I think there's a little bit misunderstanding. I mean my introduction and conclusion do not match together and it is inappropriate and will lose some point in the real IELTS exam, and i am totally agree with your point.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
May 16, 2014   #7
.... LOL ... looks like Pahan got so excited over your comment :D .... No wonder because he keeps advising every IELTS taker on the same line of approach. So your comment may have shattered him as to what he's gonna tell the other guys :) This is the beauty of this forum. Everybody is open to other's ideas and comments and all of us believe in the value of collaboration :)

I am requesting you to do that in a positive spirit with curiosity to know why you think so :)

.... this is very sweet of Pahan. He is asking you to tell your point for him to understand whether you've got a valid point :)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: animal experiments & animal rights