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Animal Rights : a contradictive perspectives about The Rule


mem77 62 / 98 6  
Sep 15, 2016   #1
Several times later, animals are used in research for some products (cosmetic, medicine, etc) before used to humans. Because of that, there are many pros and cons from the activists whom love the animals. The activists believe that the research for the animals is breaking the rule about animal rights because they did not have enough power to protect themselves from the human. For the activists that has a contra opinion, they told that even though the pro opinion said that the research is not breaking the rule. And what about from the animals' side? If they can talk like a human being, the activists that have a contra opinion think maybe the animals did not want to be a human experiment for their research. Because when the animals become an experiment, all of human do a bad thing for them like beating and torturing them. The other opinion said that some animals that used for a research is not similar to human, like a rabbit and a mouse. For that condition, maybe the effect from the research is not working for the human. This is why the experiment has a bad thing for the human and also for the animals. Except that, because of the animals like chimpanzee and monkey have a similarity with human being, it is right to do an experiment for them? It is like do the experiment for human too because they have an intelligence and consciousness like human being. So because of that fact, even though we can do an experiment with the animals, as a human like the others, I suggest you are not to do that because it makes the animals hurt and get a bad thing from the research.

Hujjatul19 45 / 70 3  
Sep 15, 2016   #2
Hi mem, it's fancy reading your writjng. Here is some advices for you.

... and cons from the activists whom [who] love the animals.
ťťwhom is only used to explain object i.e. I meet Susi whom I treated yesterday.

For the activists that has a contra opinion, they told that ... [fragmanted].

And what about from the animals' side?
ťť word "and" should not put in the beginning of a sentence

Hope it could improve your writing skill. Best regards
Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 16, 2016   #3
Hi Hujjatul,
I want to give some advices, I like your essay topic and I do agree with you that there is no reason to kill those God creatures only for cosmetics or medicine.

You've got some amazing ideas in this essay but I think you are tend to use simple words, I suggest you to put some advance vocabularies in your sentences.

For example:
-Because when the animals become an experiment, all of human do ...
~Become =transform into/ convert to
~bad = awful/crammy/negative


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