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Animals do feel. Express an opinion on animal treatment.


happyfunny 4 / 5  
Dec 3, 2017   #1

respecting the life of animals



Animals which are the same worth with human in the earth, however, Animals being eaten, worn, experimented on, used for entertainment by a human. I totally disagree with the way we are treating animals now. I will discuss three main reasons below.

First of all, Animals have emotions you can understand that, by the way, looking into their eyes. Animals feel about pain in the same way with people. We are smiling while eating them, we are beaming with other's pain, how can you say about that?. We are expending our habitats, population by destroying animals habitats, population. People can understand the feeling of losing their house but we don't want to understand animals feel. All species of animals in the world are suffering , it is because of humans. People which is the smartest creature need to respect other creatures to show humanly, by the way, stop eating, wearing animals.

Secondly, People live in the ecosystem biology environment, which included all of the species, If one element in this system disappear the system will be weaker. People tend to act on emotions, not on intelligence. We need more patience to decide which action is good for our environment.

Finally, We have many research about becoming vegetarian is good for health so why we keep treating animals like our food to harm our life ?. We love the taste of meat, it really hard to overcome this feeling but if we keep doing wrong things we will receive bad things. The weather is worse because we are destroying animals habitat so that either animal or people be affected by this action. we have to change our action now if we want our children to have a good life on the mother earth.

Inclusion, the way we are treating animals now is extremely bad so that we have to make an innovation now to respect the life of animalsrespect the life of animals also our life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Dec 3, 2017   #2
@happyfunny I cannot help you fix your essay because you did not provide the complete original prompt for me to read. I have no idea what you are supposed to write about, why you have to write about it, and how you are supposed to write it. You must always provide the complete prompt when you post your essay so that you can receive a proper analysis of your written work.

What I did observe is that you are not careful about the way you write and you do not proofread your paper before submitting it. I see a number of capitalized letters where it is not required (See paragraph 2 re "Animals"), and that you have tendency to use numerous commas, creating run on sentences in a paragraph, instead of presenting individualized sentences. Sometimes the number of commas you use are so excessive that I forget what your presentation is about by the time I reach the all too important period in the presentation.

Do not present questions in your essay because you do not have time to respond to it properly. Just present specific opinions, no rhetoric required. By the way, the term is "In conclusion" not "Inclusion". Inclusion means to add something or someone. In conclusion means to end a presentation. Such mistakes will really lower your LR score.


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