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Announcement about constructing a great manufacturing plant in the area - TOEFL Independent writing

joannasephira 1 / -  
Apr 11, 2017   #1
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

what this build brings to the community?

Economic profits and environmental maintenance are adversaries in every developing industry process. The development brings the convenience and advanced technology to form a new page of our world. In contrast, it also corrodes the nature as time has elapsed.

The project of building a factory will be extremely complicated. Establishing a huge factory might confer hundreds of job opportunities to the local residents. Changing the industrial type would thrive the food stores, convenient stores, and the transportation to meet the demands of the employees. This could turn my community into the center of a prosperous city in the future. Also, there would be some professional experts and extraordinary managers living near the factory. They could have established successful models to the students in the local schools.

The idea might causes the irreversible ratification: destroyed environment. A factory could be a serious source of air, chemical, and noise pollution. Once these potential factors impair the environment, the damages might be forever. Furthermore, Building a new and giant factory means the exploit of wide lands. During the construction works, the habitats of natural creatures, the residence of local dweller, and so forth might accept severe impacts. It is possible for them to lose their familiar and beloved home.

After accounting for the advantages and disadvantages of the plan, I am on the opposite side of the company. I refuse to have a factory intrude into my community. Although a factory could bring the economic profits, the repercussion of it shadows the bright side. If we can keep away from those detrimental pollution, the residents can live in a healthy mental and physical state. In further, a region with high quality of lifestyle and comfortable environment will become rare and precious in the future. The location of my community will appeal to famous and respectable celebrities. The lifted prices of house and lands will appreciate more than we can expect. The advantages will prevail the profits of short-sighted supporters.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,827 2622  
Apr 11, 2017   #2
Yin, there is an extreme prompt understanding problem in your essay. You did not properly parasite the prompt discussion and instructions. Adding with that, you failed to present your opinion within the opening statement as it's normally required of this essay. Your disagreement with the opening of the manufacturing plant should not have been left for almost three end of the essay, it should have been the only opinion presented and discussed in the essay. The prompt clearly required only your opinion for the discussion so all the other aspects you discussed are moot and academic. These are not needed because the only necessary supporting statements are those related to your opinion of the topic. These errors are what leads me to believe that you cannot score higher than a 2 in this practice test. This is due to inappropriate examples and discussions that do not immediately allow you to present your opinion and supporting facts. You should not have written a comparison essay, only a personal opinion essay.

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