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Annual spending by a British school in 1981 - ielts task1


renlyso 4 / 18  
Nov 12, 2012   #1
from cambridge ielts 8 test 2

The three pie charts indicate the figure of annual spending by a certain British school in 1981, 1991 and 2001 respectively.

As is the case with teachers` salaries occupied the largest percentage in 3 years while the cost in insurance produced the smallest. However, the proportion of insurance spending was increasingly high.

In 1981, the school spent 40% cost on teachers` salaries, followed by other workers` salaries (28%). In terms of resources and furniture and equipment, both of them cost the same, with 15%. Spending in insurance only made up 2%.

After a decade, the costs of teachers` salaries and resources increased 10% and 5% respectively, while there were decreases in those of other workers` salaries and furniture and equipment.

Compared to those of 1991, the spending of salaries and resources dropped by the range of 5% to 10%. By contrast, costs in other two aspects, insurance and furniture and equipment, raised dramatically, constituting 8% and 23% respectively.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Nov 12, 2012   #2
The three pie charts indicate the figure of annual spendingexpenditure ofby ancertainundetermined British school in 1981, 1991 and 2001 respectively.(add a general trend at the end of the introduction)

As is the case with teachers` salaries occupied the largest percentage (how much??)inover three3 years, while the least amount of budget was allocated tocostin insurance produced the smallest . However, the proportion of insurance spending was increasingly high.(this sentence is not clear. In addition, you should use numbers.)

In 1981, the school spent 40% of the budget cost on teachers` salaries, followed by other workers` salaries (28%). In terms of resources and furniture and equipment, both of them cost the same, with 15%. Spending inon insurance only made up 2%.

After a decade, the costs of teachers` salaries and resources increased by 10% and 5%, respectively, while there were decreasesabout xx% reduction in those of other workers` salaries and furniture and equipment was observed in 1991. .

ComparedComparing to the obtained data inthose of 1991, the spending of salaries and resources dropped by the range of 5% to 10% in 2001. . By contrast, costs in other two aspects, insurance and furniture and equipment, raised dramatically, constituting 8% and 23% respectively.

well, I have some suggestions that may help you in the IELTS writing task 1. Try to use the structure of "adv. + v". For example "dramatically/drastically increased/decreased", "slightly/gradually rose". Use a wide range of vocabulary. You can find many appropriate words for describing a chart in academic writing books OR IELTS books. Furthermore, use numbers in various ways. For this purpose, you can use non-defining clauses, use parentheses, OR mention them directly. Finally, as I stated above, you should write a general trend at the end of the introduction. Write the general trend through one sentence and briefly state it.

Hope this helps
Have fun
Ahmad
OP renlyso 4 / 18  
Nov 12, 2012   #3
Thank u so much.
what ranking do u think i can get? i am going to take ielts this week..
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Nov 12, 2012   #4
Do not occupy your mind with thoughts of score, just do your best and keep practicing through this week. I am sure that you can get a good score in the test. Just try to use all your potential ability, manage your time and control your stress level in the test.

wish you luck with the IELTS test. Good luck
OP renlyso 4 / 18  
Nov 13, 2012   #5
OK.
keep practicing~
honghanh763 2 / 5  
Dec 4, 2012   #6
Can I ask sth ? Ah_zafari ,why you change the word "certain " to undetermined ,In the topic it uses " particular",so I don't understand that point
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Dec 5, 2012   #7
"Certain" is also OK, but in my opinion the word "Undetermined" is better because we do not know the name of the school. The only thing that we know, is that it is a British school. I just feel that the word "undetermined" sounds better :)))))
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 5, 2012   #8
As is the case with teachers` salaries occupied the largest percentage in 3 years while the cost in insurance produced the smallest.

This sentence is not propertly structured : (
While the teachers' salaries occupy the highest percentage, the percentage spent on insurance is the least.

the school spent 40% cost on teachers` salaries

You bear the cost .... you cannot spend cost ... you spend money/ you spend time : )
.... the school spent 40% of the total budget on teachers' salaries....
Mommmmo 5 / 15 2  
Dec 5, 2012   #9
in 3 years

I think you mean:
in the three years of this case

However, the proportion of insurance spending was increasingly high.

Unfinished sentence

Hi renlyso, even though I didn't see the pie charts, but I can tell it's demostrated by year, which mean, I think it will be better you could cross categoried to express your idea. teachers` salaries, workers` salaries, resources and furniture and equipment's spends in different years.
honghanh763 2 / 5  
Dec 6, 2012   #10
Ah _ zafari ,I have some confusion in this question ,what s your opinion about this? Can u give me some explanation ?

Topic :It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.
Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Dec 7, 2012   #11
Well, it means that a group of people think that the number of university students is too high and they are in disagreement with this situation. However, some others believe that attending university is a right and it should be provided for all students.


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