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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - APARTMENT VS HOUSE; people can decide what they would like to choose


putri22 33 / 33 5  
Feb 2, 2016   #1
Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is not easy to choose a place where we will live. Some people argue that living in a house is better than dwelling in a skyscraper apartment, while others prefer to stay in a high-rise apartment block because they like the sense of community in there. I strongly believe that the choice of either staying in the house or apartment is depend on personal preference of the occupants.

With regard to the selection to live in the apartment, people believe that it has much better sensation of community for several reasons. People who live in the flat are generally engaged with many business affairs and often go to other places. The occupants also have more privacy by living in the apartment because the residents in that area are individual. They have their own business and do not interested in their neighbour's activities. For example, based on the data from a magazine article, the residents who live in modern flats in Jakarta, capital city of Indonesia mostly are businessmen and rarely to stay in their apartment for a long time.

On the other hand, citizens in housing area are not individual like in the apartment zone because they are not as busy as apartment's occupants. As a result, there will be more interaction among the community and bring positive atmosphere. They also are able to help each other when one of them gets a problem. It is common in Indonesian neighbourhood if their neighbour has a party such as wedding party, they will be pleased to help their neighbour to prepare the party together.

To sum up, people can decide whether they will choose a high-rise apartment or a house based on their lifestyle. I suggest them to choose an apartment if they are busy and staying in a city where they do not have any friends or relatives nearby.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Feb 2, 2016   #2
HI Alifah, your essay is the 3rd one I have reviewed so far on the same IELTS exercise.
This is actually very good, it made me do a healthy comparison between the essays as well
as do a concrete remarks and enhancement to better the essay.

So, here's what I have for you.

- much better sensationsense of community for several reasons.
- People who live in the flats are generally engaged
- and doare not interested in
- their neighbour'sneighbor's activities.
- For example, bB ased on the data from a magazine article,
- Indonesia, are mostly are businessmen
- and rarely to stay in their apartment for a long time.

- On the other hand, citizens in housing area are not individualslike in the apartment zone because
- As a result, there will beis more interaction among

- To sum upOverall , people can decide whether they will
- I suggest them tothat they choose an apartment

There you have it Alifah, I hope I was able to help.
The only challenge I have with your essay is your choice of words and how you put it together, you still need more practice,
I know that this IELTS exercise will be able to help you master the English Language.
Riiskacha03 31 / 34 5  
Feb 3, 2016   #3
Hi putri, you have a pretty good writing style, actually. However, I am a little bit confused by what I say as 'contradiction'. First you write 'others prefer to stay in a high-rise apartment block because they like the sense of community in there', then you explain it as 'The occupants also have more privacy by living in the apartment because the residents in that area are individual'. So where is the 'sense of community' there actually?

other is, in my opinion, your conclusion is not covering your explanation in body paragraph. 'based on the data from a magazine article, the residents who live in modern flats in Jakarta, capital city of Indonesia mostly are businessmen and rarely to stay in their apartment for a long time' , this is not the reason to 'choose an apartment if they are busy and staying in a city where they do not have any friends or relatives nearby' , this does not make any sense. Or you should give more explanation regarding to that in your body paragraph.

On the other handIn contrast , citizens in housing area are not individual like in the apartment zone.


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