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Appearance or Education? More concern about the education and the soundness of citizens is required


Clark Kent 20 / 23 6  
Oct 5, 2015   #1
Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving school and hospital. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that the most important to be improved are school and social facility such as hospital rather than increase the number of amazing constructions. And I strongly agree that the government of a country should more concern about the education and the soundness of their citizens.

Countries which have incredible edifices indicates that they are developing countries. The governments allocate much money to improve particular strength of their country, so they can be glorious at particular part. For example, Brazil, which has hosted The World Cup in 2014 do massive construction in every sport building, especially stadiums and another supporting building to facilitate his guests in order to reach the stadiums and build multifarious new hotels for the visitors. In addition, the government builds facility for the inhabitant and of course to help people more enjoy their life or even to attract tourist to visit the country. For instance, Dubai has built many top skyscrapers, one of them is The Burj Khalifa Tower. It is the highest building in the world, and Dubai built it to show his money power thanks to his source. This building attracts visitors to visit it because some people want to see how powerful this structure directly and also to ensure the investors that Dubai is the most advantageous place for invest their money due to his development.

However, social facilities and schools should be the main focus of the government. To become a strong and powerful country, education and health of the inhabitant should be the primary concern by him. An increasing number of multi-storey building without the supported by health and education of the citizens left the country to become crippled, because it does not focus on the personal development of citizens. To illustrate, Brazil has built 12 amazing stadiums and spent more than US$ 14,6 Billion, in contrast to their education sector, there is a big hole in there where is the percentage of the inhabitant who illiterate stood at 88% in 2003 and decrease by now but the percentage still high. In addition, not only education which becomes a huge problem in Brazil, but also the health of the human being in there. According to the research, 83% Brazilians have a disease. I argue that Brazil is one of the country that has the highest crime rate, thanks to the imbalance between the construction of public facilities and football stadiums.

In conclusion, increasing the number of amazing buildings are important, but in my opinion, school facility and hospital are more important than anything.

ochio 13 / 10 5  
Oct 5, 2015   #2
- the most important (You need to add an object(noun) after the 'important' word) to be improved are school and social facilitypublic facilities , such as hospitals and schools , rather than increase the number of amazing constructions

- And I strongly agree that the government of a countrya city(You should write a city instead of a country because in the first line you talk about a city) should more concern about . . .

- Countries which have incredible edifices indicatesindicate that they are developing countries.
- to improve particular strength of their country, so they can be glorious at particulardistinctive/specific part.
- to facilitate hisits guests (Brazil is an inanimate subject)
- the government builds facilityfacilities for the inhabitantinhabitants and of coursesurely to help people more enjoy their life or even to attract touristtourists to visit the country.

- Dubai built it to show hisits money power (Dubai is an inanimate object).
- Dubai is the most advantageous place for invest their money investing due to hisits development.
- social facilities and schools should be the main focus of the government.
- education and health of the inhabitantcitizens should be the primary concern by him.
- Brazil is one of the countrycountries(must plural)


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