Hi,
I would appreciate feedback on my essay. I'm preparing for a liscenship exam this month.
Thanks a lot.
The unforgettable person whom you encountered in life? What made him or her special? How did their life impact yours?
Archie isn't just a typical guy I've encountered in my life. He played a special role in my career as a special education teacher. He was an ideal boss, a dedicated mentor and a good Samaritan. People who knew him could not resist his charm and witt that goes along with his intelligence. He has not only encouraged me to be a good teacher but also motivated a lot of teachers to be passionate with work and be generous to the poor.
The first time he interviewed me, he had a smile and charism that turned me on. There was more to his physical appearance that caught my attention. As a boss, he treated everyone as his friend. He would go out with the group on a Friday night to hang out. He knew the problems of his employees whether it is financial, family or relationship problems. It was a big relief to talk to him whenever I have problems. He listens calmly and gives good advices too. When things don't go right in my classrooms, he helps out in managing the students and corrects my lesson plans. When parents complain about school policies, he talks to them with gentle voice and with respect. Somehow it was so easy for him to solve different school matters in a subtle way.
Archie was a dedicated mentor not just to me but to everyone. A year ago, he managed to squeeze his time to help me out with my thesis paper amidst his tight schedule. He proof read my paper and provided me with different resources for further study. More than the help what really inspired me are his words of wisdom. His unforgettable word for me was "Always be inspired to teach the kids to the best of your ability. And in the end of the day, never forget to share your blessings to poor kids who have no means to go to school."
Amidst Archie's successful career as the school director/owner, he managed to share his wealth to a Foundation for poor children. He was its founder and renders his time to teach the children every weekend. He also busy himself, looking for donors and volunteers to expand different programs for the poor children. Once, he invited me to join his foundation and spend time to teach a kid. I never imagined to see him in his regular shirt and pants, hugging the kids with tattered and smelly clothes. It was a humbling sight for me to see him being a servant to others. He prepared snacks for everyone and joins the kids in singing and dancing. It was really an awesome sight for me. That was the day, I promised myself that I would like to be a person just like him. A man who works with great energy and enthusiasm for other people. He was a selfless and generous person.
Everyone of us have met someone in our lives who may or may not have impacted our lives today. In my life, I will never forget Archie who had changed my image of life. He was an ordinary person who happened to be an ideal, a good mentor and a generous Samaritan all at the same time. His personal qualities will always serve as an inspiring model. His words of wisdom will always be guiding path in my quest to excel in my teaching career.
Every one of us has met someone in our lives who may or may not have impacted our lives today.
(1) You could say "everyone" or "every one of us" but not "everyone of us."
(2) Both "everyone" and "every one" are singular, hence my verb change.
(3) But -- read the sentence: What are you saying? Essentially, that every person has met other people. That's so self evident that it need not be stated.
