Media is the biggest essential thing for human [...]let me try to rewrite you introductionAs media is considered an essential thing for human life nowadays, a wide range of information is spread would have benefits for people's activities rather than drawbacks. In this essay, I am going to discuss some of the merits and demerits of residing in a media dominated community.First of all, people obtain a great deal of advantages fromof media. People acquire more information due to media. Smartphone for example, 1.000 population people in Liverpool city use a smartphone for surfing onthe internet and listening music for entertainment. People usually useutilize media as resources for gettingsearching information and entertainment. As a result, media brings positive advantages forof people's life.
In contrast, media is popular stuff for people around the world, whereas it has many impacts for people's activities. People spend their time relay too much on computer or smartphone. They focus on internet which delay other activities such work
i suggest you to give more detail about what are the drawbacks ? make it specific.. In addition, people often meet people by face to face condition. People think it enough to communicate on social media, rather than they are gathering together. Media has several impacts for people on communication's site between their self and relative which it encourage people lose obvious communication.
To sum up, developing of media is useful for human society to obtain much information from whole world. Although media is useful for people access information on internet , it has disadvantages for communicating in real condition. People should control their time If their relay too much on media.in your conclusion, you just need to rephrase topic sentence first body and second body using different words.
I hope this will help you improve your writing skills.