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Some argue parents should impose strict control on their children


nectar_s 1 / -  
Sep 11, 2013   #1
Parenting is an art which moulds the child to a better citizen of a society, especially upbringing of a child in an appropriate way is one of the most controversial topics discussed today. Both the approaches- of imposing strict control on their children or providing more liberty to their kids have its own merits and demerits. On one hand, some argue the kids learn more moral values and are disciplined when they are under parents' control. On the other hand, people argue raising children in a friendly environment brings closer relationships. Both the arguments will be critiqued before final conclusion is arrived.

Although each and every phase of life holds its own importance, childhood is the period determining the basic nature and character of a person. When parents are strict towards their children at their childhood stage, they teach good mannerism and are well-tuned to follow moral and social values of life religiously . For example, children grown-up in a disciplined environment behave well with elders by being respectful and showing more politeness. However, this approach abstain the child to be outspoken and often put into troubles to take hard decisions in their life on their own. Thus it is evident that raising the children under the shade of parents has both advantages and disadvantages.

On the flip side of the argument, few broad-minded parents believe that a parenting can be successful only if a parent is a good friend of a child thereby developing very intact relationship with their kids and reducing the gap. An instance illustrating this in action is, child develop the attitude of sharing their true feelings to their parents and tend to disclose everything openly without any fear. But, some children misuses their independence and influenced by bad companies indulge in illegal practices like drug trafficking, sexual abuse as they disrespect parents words. It is clear that, even though not being harsh can develop sense of intimacy but at the same time its outcomes should not be overlooked.

After analyzing the above arguments, it is believed that children should be raised under proper care and caution under the shade of parents with limited freedom. It is recommended to nurture the kids with limited regulatory framework with adequate freedom thereby setting examples so that in future they would follow their paths

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 11, 2013   #2
Hi
Seems you are new to EF. There are few admin things I need tomtell you that also help you to earn more relevant feedbacks for your essays. First, mention the purpose of your essay such as whether it us for IELTS, TOEFL, GRE etc. together with your topic in the subject field. Then include the prompt in your essay. These would help others to align their comments with task requirements. Last,open this type of essays Iin the Writing Feedback forum.
marmaria 10 / 30 5  
Sep 14, 2013   #3
hi nectar
you write very good, I learned so many useful structures from your essay

An instance illustrating this in action is

I would rather to say, " as a result, the child de

child develop the attitude of sharing their true feelings

"The child develops the attitude of sharing his/hertrue feelings" or you can just say " The child would prefer to share his/her feelings"

misuses their independence and influenced by bad companies indulge in illegal practices like drug trafficking, sexual abuse as they disrespect parents words

I do not think independence is a good word, it is better use "freedom"
Also I think in this paragraph you just wrote about the friendly relation between children and their parents, and they share everything with their parents. I think first you should mention that some broad-minded parents do not constantly control their children and give them freedom in their lives, but some children misuse this freedom...and continue so
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Sep 21, 2013   #4
Parenting is an art which moulds the child to a better citizen of a society,

....great start

On the other hand, people argue raising children in a friendly environment brings closer relationships.

.... this is not wrong; just a suggestion -
On the other hand, some people argue raising children in a friendly environment helps develop closer relationships and better understanding between parents and children.

Both the arguments will be critiqued before final conclusion is arrived.

.... better you state your opinion straight without keeping the reader in hold :D
You can write so well. Pay attention to the structure (you should have included specific examples for your reasoning in body paras) to earn a good score for this task which you can easily get.


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